Poetic Murder
by Ashinia
Summary: I never wanted to become a serial killer, in fact all my life I just wanted to become a simple poet. But life doesn't always play out the way you want it to now does it? Which is why I am currently on the run, my reputation ruined and an ex cop as my only accomplice. Oh it's good to be me.
1. Chapter 1

They shouldn't have cheated on me...

A young 21 year old man stood in front of the state prison for highly dangerous criminals, in his hand was a letter of permission to speak with one of the prisoners in there. He slowly walked towards the receptionist and greeted her. She greet him back with a smile and asked for the permission paper, when she saw who he was to visit her smile immediately vanished and she clicked her tongue.

"So you're the moron who actually wants to hear what that monster has to say huh, well not much I can do bout that after all tomorrow is his execution date so follow me" she turned on her heel and continued to walk down a long corridor. It was all silent except the constant clank of heel meeting marble floor.

"Well here you are, good luck" she said as she opened a door to reveal an equally young man who barely looked 25 sitting behind a long steel desk, 2 heavily armed guards were on either opposite side of him. His hair was long and black like night and he would have been highly attractive if it weren't for the sickly pale skin and the orange prison jumpsuit.

"Ah I see my guest has finally arrived, please take a seat" Kiba sat down on the chair opposite the man

"Uh sir my name is Kiba Inuzuka and. I'm here to-"

"You're here to hear my side of the story eh?" Kiba nodded his head

"Yes sir." The man smiled and sat back a bit, startling the guards for a few moments.

_**"The first victim was a whore indeed**_

_**Did not care for people in need**_

_**A different man for every night**_

_**In the end I did what was right"**_

Kiba's eyes widened for a bit widened for a bit "the first verse of the murder poem" he whispered

"Yes now would you like to hear the story behind that?"

"Yes sir" the man chuckled at his eagerness but continued nonetheless

"Well you see it started 2 years ago...

«~GOIN BACK IN TYYYM}

In the peaceful town of Konohagakure, there was a very famous poet going by the name of Sasuke, Sasuke was very well known for his amazingly written poems. He lived by himself in his office condo and he was dating a lovely young lady called Karin. Everyone thought those two were just perfect for each other.

In reality Karin was a lying, cheating little wench, every time Sasuke thought she went on a business trip or a friends house Karin was actually meeting one of her lovers on the side. She had everything she could ever want since our dear Karin had

Sasuke- her cover boyfriend

Chichi- her sugar daddy

Damir- her boy toy

Akiro- her business man

Ezikiel- her 'pleasure' man

And she would pick up a new guy every evening but what she didn't realize was that her many other boyfriends were about to be the cause of the death via the 'cover' boyfriend.

On a Saturday night Sasuke decided to take a break from his poetry to go to a club or something so he put on a tight fitting white vest with some stained black jeans, he tied his hair into a high ponytail and put on a hat to complete the look.

{Sasuke POV}

"Hmm I wonder what my lovely Karin is doing right now" I picked up the phone but put it back in my pocket, no need to disturb her from her business meeting. I took my wallet and car key and I hit the road to find a nice club to hang out in.

I drove for about 20 minutes when I finally came to a club called THE TEMPTATIONS I parked my car in the parking space and made my way inside.

As I entered I was met with the loud booming of some weird techno base music, the dance floor was littered with people busy having vertical clothed sex, I tsked in disgust and managed to get to the bar in one piece. When I finished ordering my single malt I turned to see what was so interesting about dancing like that when my eyes landed on one person on the dance floor

"No...it can't be" I whispered mostly to myself but apparently the barman heard me and saw who I was looking at

"Oh yeah, that's Karin she always comes over here to get a bed partner for the night and judging by the looks of it, I'm guessing today she's thinking about a threesome. Why do you know her or something?" We both looked at Karin who was dressed in a tight red dress which reached up to her thighs and was dancing with two other males.

I couldn't believe my eyes, Karin...the woman I have devoted my life to. Karin... The woman I have bought a mansion AND a car for. Karin... The woman I was planning to marry.

"Yeah, I'm her ex" I casually responded to the bartender who just shrugged and moved on to the next customer. I took out my wallet and paid for my drink and decided to go home and get some well needed sleep.

* * *

When I finally arrive home I took a quick shower and went to write some poetry when the most shocking thing happened.

I...Had...a...writers...block. It was amazing! After so many years of non-stop writing I finally ran out of poem topics. How interesting, that seeing my beautiful Karin getting frisky with other males would give me such shock that I actually got writers block?

I've always had a perfectly undisturbed record my whole life! I ALWAYS wrote some poetry every night! So I came up with a conclusion, I would get rid of what gives me a writers block and come back home to write some poetry.

As soon as I made up my mind I set out for the bar and surely enough Karin was still there shamelessly grinding on some guy. How can she do this everyday? Just the sight of it disgusts me! SHAMEFUL that's what this is!

I waited for her and the guy to leave the bar and slowly followed them. Making sure to put 3 cars between us still thinking about what she did to me tonight.

They soon make a turn and stopped by an alleyway. I watched as they came out of the car and ran. Towards the alleyway.

'Who knew she could run so fast in those heels?' I thought as I took out a little black bag from my dashboard.

I slowly got out of the car and walked towards the infamous alleyway and when I made a right turn I saw something that made my blood boil.

There was my dear Karin pressed up against a dirty wall while that THING was deeply kissing her with both his hands quickly pulling up her dress while she undid his pants zipper.

I was filled with many different emotions

Shock- at currently witnessing this

Betrayal- since this was my girlfriend

Sadness- because even while seeing this

I still love her.

_Anger_\- at being cheated on

_Anger_\- as I held the ring I was going to

Propose with

**Anger**!- because I was foolish enough to

Believe that she loved me too

_**ANGER**_!- because she wasn't stopping

Him.

I couldn't deal with this anymore, there must be a reasonable explanation for this but as I turned to walk away I heard

"But what about your boyfriend?" Ah so that thing knew about me huh?

"Oh you mean Sasuke, he's not my boyfriend, just my bank account" say what now?

"Well in that case I think-"

*BAM!* his body hit the ground faster than I could say 'oops'

Karin looked down at him and screamed bloody murder, it was entertaining for a few moments but it was getting annoying now so I pointed the gun between her eyes.

"Karin! Baby please shut the hell up your voice is starting to give me a migraine" she looked up at me and her eyes widened

"S-S-Sasuke?" I smiled

"Ah why you looking so scared hun, aren't you happy to see me?"

"Its not what it looks like. Please don't shoot me, I love you!" Tears were now coming out of her eyes, mascara now staining her rosy cheeks.

"Oh? Its okay, many people cheat on their bank accounts but since the police ain't here yet I'm going to have to take this matter into my own hands." She cried even louder and I cringed, wow she really is annoying huh

"so uh I'm gonna kill you now so uh pray, cry, yell or order a cheeseburger with a side of fries, I really don't care" wow when did I get a sense of humour?

"No! I love you and I know you love me too, don't do this. We can start over, live afresh, forget the past please Sasuke!"

I walked up to her and muttered "you're right, I still love you Karin."

I leaned down to kiss her one last time before I pulled the trigger and as I watched her lifeless body slump to the ground I realized something

"I just got an idea for a poem"

««Back to the future»»

"And that's how she died" Sasuke said in a monotone voice while Kiba was stunned

"Wow, that makes so much more sense now." He said while writing everything down in his notepad.

Sasuke waited patiently for him to finish writing and when Kiba finally looked up he sighed and asked a bit too excitedly

"What about the second one?" Sasuke grinned at this, sending chills down Kiba and the guards spines

"Well you see..."


	2. Chapter 2

_**The second victim was an obsessed freak**_

_**Too bad the also thought I was weak**_

_**She failed to keep her emotions in check**_

_**By acting on them she broke her neck"**_

"...please carry on"

«~GOIN BACK IN TYYYM}

Its been three months since I killed Karin and life has been rather peaceful I guess.

U see after the murder chaos was over Karin's death was ruled as a robbery gone wrong and the case was closed so my life has been very peachy these days.

So I was checking through my fridge when I realized that there was no groceries left, damn it Karin used to make sure my fridge was always full now I miss her.

I went to my room, grabbed my wallet and keys and left for the supermarket. As I picked up a shopping cart I realized that I had absolutely no idea what to buy so I wondered aimlessly around for a while before I was pushed into my own cart...hard.

"Oh my I am so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!" A petite young lady was frantically apologising while picking up her grocery which must have fallen out when she ran into me. I chuckled while helping her pick her remaining grocery items up

"Its not a problem" lie "we all make mistakes sometimes, besides that didn't even hurt at all" another lie what is WRONG with me?

She smiled a gentle smile and asked "is there anything I can do for you? I'm sorry but I can't pay you as I don't really uh have a job and all" this intrigued me and I decided to make the most of it

"Are you interested in a job miss?" Her eyes widened before she slowly nodded her head "you see I'm looking for a housekeeper since the last one quit" yet another lie, this is weird

She smirked at this "surely you won't just offer a simple person a job like that out of the blue I mean I could be a murderer for all you know" and I actually AM a murderer so it evens out

"I trust you besides you're just going to be a housekeeper and I spend most of the day indoors anyway plus I'm rich so name your price." She seemed to ponder on that for a moment before her eyes widened in realisation

"The poetry protege Sasuke, my gosh it really is you I would be honoured to be your housekeeper" she performed a short bow and I laughed a bit at that

"Okay then you're hired! First order of business, help me shop!" She silently giggled but complied anyway.

"Uh well first we need fruits and vegetables."

Its been 3 weeks since I first recruited my new housekeeper Sakura and I must say I'm rather impressed, she comes everyday at 8am and leaves at exactly 7pm, does all the work without complain and never gets in my way but I have been noticing some rather weird traits which have developed in the past few days for example.

She always gives me breakfast in bed, now I know that doesn't sound weird but if you woke up everyday to your housekeeper siting at the edge of your bed while caressing a photo of you and smiling adoringly at it what would YOU do?

She's always smelling my clothes which is weird by itself but it became real creepy when she started smelling my boxers, I mean WOAH!

She keeps randomly walking in my room as soon as I step out of the bathroom after showering and then she just stands there like some retarded statue!

And last but certainly not least, she keeps touching me for no apparent reason, I HATE it when people touch me for no good reason that's how most viruses start!

So as you can see I am very disturbed, its like I'm a guest in my own house so I decided to do the right thing and fire her before I finally snap.

With my mind made up I called her to my room and gave her the long meaningful 'your services are no longer needed but I'm sure you will be able to find a better job that suits you' Sasuke style which kinda went like this.

"You're fired, get out of my sight"

If I told you I was surprised by her reaction...I would be telling the truth, the lie curse has broken

She smiled softly and put her hand on my knee *again with the touching* "oh but Sasuke darling I'm not going anywhere" was she crazy?

"Oh but Sakura darling, you are." As soon as those words came out of my mouth her sweet smile turned into a malicious glare and with a loud roar she grabbed a knife from the breakfast tray and pointed it at me

"How dare you! You think that you can charm me into being your LOYAL, PUNCTUAL, CARING, SWEET housekeeper and when things go sour you can just pull the plug well that ain't happening pretty boy!" I stared at her wide eyed

"Sakura what on earth are you talking about?" She pressed the knife to my chest and started crying

"Because I have fallen in love with you Sasuke a-and I'm sorry but I can't just up and leave without knowing that at least you feel something too" my eyes softened at her confession but I had to tell her the truth, for her sake and sanity

"Sakura I'm sorry but I don't return your feelings, I am just your boss as you are my employee but I do consider you a good friend"

"A good friend? A GOOD FRIEND!? I'm sorry but I can't settle for that, if you don't love me by your own will" she pulled up the knife and pushed it by my throat "then I will make you love me, even if I have to kill you just remember that I'm only doing this for you honey"

I stared at her in disbelief, this lady in front of me was no longer the lady I befriended and hired, this was no longer Sakura. All because I'm too hot for my own good, damn these good looks.

"What are you smiling at, you think this is some kind of joke!?" Sakura screamed while pressing the knife deeper into my throat and I soon felt blood trickle down my chest. I had to end this before it was too late. Even if I had to play dirty

"Sakura you're right, I can't do this anymore. The truth is that I've loved you since the day you nearly ran me over with you shopping cart but I thought that if I acted on my desire you would be disgusted in me and leave. I just couldn't bare living without you so I kept my mouth shut" she stopped pressing the knife into my throat and slowly pulled it back

"R-r-really?" I smirked and took that opportunity to grab the knife from her grasp and throw her off me and my bed

"Eh you're not really my type, I don't do obsessed freaks." She glared at me and tried to grab my again but I swiftly caught her hands and started dragging her out of my room, pointedly ignoring her screams and death threats. As I reached the stairs leading to the kitchen she bit my hand causing me to let go, It hurt...a lot.

"I'm going to kill you!" She shouted as she took off one of her pencil heels and proceeded to try and finish off what she had started. I quickly reached out my hands and desperately tried to keep the shoe away from my already bleeding throat, man this girl had strength.

As I was pondering over how strong she was, she reached down and swiped her foot over the floor causing me to trip and fall.

She then picked up the shoe and raised it up while screaming some kind of creepy war cry, I took that opportunity to raise both my feet and push her as hard as I could which caused her to start tumbling down the stairs.

I turned around in time to watch her hit the bottom of the stairs...head first.

The sickening crunch of her neck breaking echoed throughout the entire house.

««Back to the future»»

Kiba gaped at the man in front of him "but the newspapers never said anything about her being all freaky-ish they said that-"

"That I was the one in love with her and when she rejected me I went crazy and pushed her down the stairs" Sasuke said in a quiet whisper

"Wow...this is slowly starting to actually make sense! I knew the newspaper story wasn't complete, it just didn't make sense." Kiba said while quickly scribbling down everything Sasuke said.

"So uh the third one?" Sasuke smiled sadly at this and a single tear slowly made its way down his cheek

"Ah yes, my partner in crime." His sad smile disappeared and was replaced with a blank mask

"Pull out your diary son because this next one will be a story indeed"

Z/N: let us have a moment of silence to mourn the death of one of my favourite Naruto characters of all time, the amazingly powerful Lady Haruno.


	3. Chapter 3

"_**This is where the game transforms**_

_**From dust a new partnership forms**_

_**One too worthy to be destroyed**_

_**Mind and eyes as the blackest void**_

_**The very first to capture my heart**_

_**I swore that we could never part.**_"

Kiba sat up straight after the poem " the third chapter huh... I've always wanted to learn the story behind that one." Sasuke laughed

" well this is your lucky day son."

««[ GOIN BACK IN TYYYM]»»

As soon as I got over the shock of having a dead body in my house I called the cops and gave them a simple story.

"She fell down the stairs...somehow." the cops looked at me, suspicion and hunger clearly showing on their faces.. weird.

"So you're telling me that she just _**fell **_down the stairs for absolutely no apparent reason?" I shrugged

"Maybe it was just her time to go" one cop glared but it was quickly wiped off and replaced with a smirk "I'm sorry but i'm going to have to take you to the station for some questioning" I rolled my eyes but followed them to their police cruiser. Something told me that things were about to get very interesting.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When we arrived there I was led to a rather dark room with one table and two chairs. I went inside and sat down for a few minutes before the door opened and a rather attractive, blonde shy looking woman in uniform came in and sat down on the chair opposite mine.

"Okay pretty boy i'm not in the mood for games so either tell me exactly how the girl died or we're gonna have trouble." okay so maybe not so shy. I smirked, this is going to be fun.

"Woah, why are all the cops so cranky today? What did the doughnut shop close early?" the woman growled at me and pointed her gun at me

"Still wanna make jokes pretty boy" I smiled at her and decided to cut my fun short, the last thing I need is for this woman to lose it while she had a gun in her hand.

" miss I already told you what I know, what do you want me to bring her back to life and have you ask her yourselves?". I asked with genuine sincerity and she visibly stiffened and clenched the hand that wasn't holding a gun.

"...just tell me how she died." I frowned at that and responded as sweetly as I could.

"I already told you people, she just randomly fell down the stairs and died."

The woman slowly got up and walked out the steel door. As soon as the door closed I heard a loud thud and a _**very **_loud scream of anger. I quietly chuckled to myself and sighed. I wonder who they will send next.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

After a few minutes the door finally opened and a thing walked in and just then I knew that this one was going to be a real challenge. Damn it and I was just about to take a nap.

"So you're the witness to this girls rather sudden death and according to my fellow officers words she just randomly fell down the stairs?" I shrugged

"Eh, even you must know that is most definitely not possible." he raised a single eyebrow

"So exactly what happened?" I sighed and started explaining

"She tried to stab my throat so I pushed her down the stairs" I pointed to my now bandaged throat "even got the evidence right here" the man looked taken aback by the confession but relaxed shortly after. He then took out a voice recorder and put it on the table.

"Would you mind repeating that?" I smirked and slowly nodded my head.

"Very well then" he turned the recorder on " so how did Miss Haruno die exactly?"

"She was walking down the corridor when she ran into a shark, she screamed with her mouth wide open causing said shark to jump into her mouth. In shock she swallowed the shark and ran towards the kitchen to get a knife and when she reached the stairs the shark jumped back out of her mouth and tripped her, causing her to fall down the stairs and break her neck." I said with the most saddened voice I could think of " it was a great tragedy indeed she will be missed, so uh Moron am I free to go now?" the man stared at me and asked

"Moron?" I shrugged

"You never told me your name so I shall refer to you as Moron. Its rude to simply call someone 'you'." the man chuckled

"And calling them moron isn't?" I shrugged and he shook his head

"Naruto" I stared at him in question

"Huh?" he sighed and reached for his front jacket pocket

"My name?" he then took out a cigarette and carefully lit it "its Naruto." I scoffed in distaste as the smoke finally reached me

"Put that thing away, it smells ghastly!" he smirked and I realised that maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"Oh really? Tell you what how about we start over and everytime I think you're fooling me I will take a long drag of this cigarette and blow the smoke right in your face." my eyes visibly widened but I quickly regained my composure, two can most definitely play this game.

"Okay...ask but one condition, everytime you ask a question I also get to ask one" he sighed but agreed nonetheless

" first question: how old are you?" I rolled my eyes at this **painfully **cliché question.

" 16 turning 17 in a few weeks" he glared at me and put the cigarette in his mouth for about ten seconds and then he leaned over the table so that our foreheads were touching before blowing the smoke in my face. The smell of smoke and mouthwash invading my nose. I scowled.

"Careful there, what would your fellow officers think if they were to walk in on us like this. Their dear Naruto getting rather friendly with a famous poet/ murderer. It might be _**the weekly times**_big breakthrough." He scowled and leaned back.

" so you wanna answer me or are we gonna be the next big thing on _**hot topic news**_?" I considered giving the wrong answer but the last thing I need is second degree smoking

" hmm 23, now its my turn so who's your mother?" he looked a bit insulted for a few seconds and then he quickly answered

"...Kushina" I smiled and he glared

" Kushina huh, well that's good. Now I can refer to her instead of just calling her 'Mrs"

"Wait what?"

" its only fair to know the name of my future mother in law or maybe I should just call her mom hmmm... what do you think hun?" Naruto rolled his eyes and sighed

" sure why the hell not sweetheart, although i'm not buying you a ring." he said in a bored tone and I was mildly surprised.

" I thought you were straight." he laughed at that.

" I still am Mi lady" I growled and climbed over the table to grab him by the collar and the moron had the nerve to smirk. At that moment I decided that I would wipe that stupid smirk off his face no matter what so I did the first thing that came into my mind, I leaned over and...

««[ END FL SHBACK]»»

" wait.. that's it?" cried Kiba " first of all who's that guy? Second of all, nobody died here and last but not least a cliffhanger? Really now?" Sasuke softly chuckled before speaking

"Ah well you see the 'guy' that you're talking about is a very important part of this story." Kiba halted for a bit before raising an eyebrow

"Who?" I smiled in memory of 'that guy'

" Tell me child, have you ever heard of Naruto Uzumaki?" Kiba's eyes widened in surprise.

"Naruto Uzumaki, the ex cop who was said to be the only person to meet Sasuke Uchiha and still survive to tell the tale. Responsible for over 50 murders all around the world and currently M.I.A" I snorted at that

" Correction its actually Naruto Uzumaki, the man who worked alongside Sasuke Uchiha to form Poetic Murder responsible for over 180 murders, 129 counts of theft, 34 counts of arson and...Sasuke Uchiha's capture."

Z/N: don't let the short chapters fool you, they will get longer, much longer.


	4. Chapter 4

_**"**__**The **__**next victims a gang I hated **_

_**bunch of morons could have just waited**_

_**They thought that they could win the fight**_

_**Too bad that I am always right"**_

"Ah the massacre poem, now that's a story I want to hear." Kiba said as he held the pen and waited for Sasuke to speak.

"Okay where was I? Oh yes I leaned in.."

[goin back in tyyyym]

_**...**_and punched him right in the face, he gave a slight yelp of pain before he lost his balance and dragged me down with him. We both hit the ground with a rather loud _**thud**_ and soon enough the door slammed open and the woman from before came in. Her eyes were wide with shock but she quickly recovered just in time to scream. "What the hell is going on here!" it was only then that I realised the position we were in so from her point of view I was attacking Naruto on the floor which was exactly what I was doing.

I sighed before getting up and she immediately glared at me "well boy care to explain what I just saw?" I shrugged and sat on the table

"I was attacking officer whatshisface over here before you walked in, what's there to explain?" by now Naruto had gotten up and most of the cops were standing by the door.

"Sargent Yamanaka. Please stop randomly bursting in the room whenever you hear even the slightest noise, I don't know if you get this but I am your superior meaning if he was attacking me then he must be out of your league and just for the record Mr Uchiha here was _**not**_ attacking me. This chair gave up and I fell, pulling Mr Uchiha down with me as an act of reflex."

I stared at Naruto in annoyance and slight awe, that lie...so effortless like as if he just told the truth. I may not be a detective but i'm pretty sure that if he were to be hooked up to a poly graph test he would pass it, even If he were to say that zombies exist. Pure genius.

Sargent Yamanaka clicked her tongue in irritation but apologised nonetheless and walked out, slamming the door shut on the way. I turned to Naruto with a questioning look on my face.

" I used to be a government spy."

"Then how come you're here now?"

" I killed a really important person and got fired." my look of awe turned to one of curiosity.

"Why would you do that?" he took out another cigarette but I quickly grabbed it before it could be lit and he glared at me.

"He did exactly what you just did right now." I scoffed in mild amusement

" so how come _**I'm **_still alive?" he smiled at that.

"You're the only suspect in this crime so killing you would put an end to the case plus I have a feeling that killing you won't be easy and there's also the fact that if you die then I will have to find another wife eh Uchiha."

"I'm going to murder you." I seethed before sitting back on the chair " So uh what's next?" Naruto frowned at that before standing up and walking to the door.

"You're free to go"

"What? But how?"

"I couldn't get you to confess on tape so you're free...get out of my building." I grinned and walked towards the door

" See you soon _**hun**_." I smirked and walked out, as I turned to look at that stupid room one last time I saw Uzumaki shaking his head and softly chuckling to himself.

As soon as I got back home I went to my study to attempt an early poem, I couldn't do it so I took my wallet and went towards my car where I drove to the nearest bar.

I walked in to find that this one was a bit calmer than that other bar I visited a while ago.

The seats near the bar were full so I scouted the area before my eyes caught onto something and I grinned wickedly. There, sitting alone on the corner booth was none other than Uzumaki. I walked up to him when.

"Nice to see you again Uchiha" I stopped dead in my tracks and he smirked.

"I saw you the moment you walked in the door, by the way is that gun licensed?" I glared and sat down opposite him.

"It doesn't have to be, everyone that has seen it so far didn't get a chance to even ask about it." he raised an eyebrow before rolling his eyes.

"You do realise that you just confessed to more than one murder right?" I smiled

"And you do realise that we are in a club so I could be heavily intoxicated right?" A waitress came to ask if we wanted anything and Uzumaki ordered a single malt while I just got a glass of water.

"You came to a bar just for water." I scowled

"Yes, is there a problem with that?" Naruto shook his head as the waitress came and gave us our drinks.

"No not at all, hey Sasuke quick question. What really happened to the late Miss Karin die?" I took a sip of my water before answering.

"She was cheating on me, in more ways than one so I killed her." Naruto choked on his whiskey.

"You killed her? Just like that?" I smirked

"You asked a question and I gave you an answer end of discussion." He chuckled before pulling out a cigarette. I reached out and took it before he could light it and he glared.

"Uchiha give it back now." I glared back

"Uzumaki for the last freaking time, don't smoke these within a 10 meter radius of me." he got up and put the money for his drink on the table.

"Lets take this outside." I paid for my water and we both walked towards the door.

_Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

As soon as we got to the parking lot he threw a punch at me which I blocked with my arms and aimed a swift kick his stomach, it connected the same time as his fist connected with my face and we both did a black flip. Landing four feet away from each other, immediately pulling out our guns and aiming them at each others heads. Uzumaki chuckled

"Eh Uchiha it seems like I may have underestimated you." I smirked back.

"I too, that punch still stings a bit." lie. My face hurt like hell and I could already taste blood, I was pretty sure this was definitely going to leave a mark but one glance at where Uzumaki's free hand was and the red substance slowly dripping out of his mouth made it all worth it.

"So why don't you just return my cigarette and we will put this all behind us?" I growled before putting the cigarette in my mouth and using the fire spitter in my gun to light it. He glared at me and I coughed really loudly before spitting out the cigarette and stepping on it.

While I was having my fun killing the cancer stick on the floor I failed to recognise Uzumaki until he was right at my face, gun pressed to the back of my head.

"game over Uchiha." he said and I smirked before lodging my own gun on his neck.

"Surely there are simpler ways to commit suicide Uzumaki." he laughed before saying.

"We can wait until a security guard comes and see who he or she believes." adjusted my gun

"As fun as that sounds I really don't feel like standing here and waiting for someone, I prefer this method." before he had time to respond I grabbed the back of his head with my free hand and captured his lips with mine. They were, surprisingly soft and tasted like iron and whiskey. Needless to say I did not mind it the at all so I pressed harder and gradually felt him responding.

I decided to go further press my tongue against his lips which he parted but instead of granting me entrance the fool forced his tongue into my mouth and it was a simple battle for dominance, whiskey and blood mixing with oranges. It was sinfully intoxicating and it would have stayed that way for a while when

"...cking fags, get the hell out of here before we make you." my eyes shifted to see what looked like a biker gang. there were eight of them, all staring at us in sheer disgust.

I looked at Uzumaki and felt his lips twisting into a smirk, right then I knew we were thinking the same thing.

"Didn't you hear me!? I said get out of here! You disgusting freaks i'll kill all of y-" he never got to finish his sentence because a loud bang was heard and two bullets lodged themselves in the mans body. One on his throat and one in his heart, he died instantly.

The other seven pulled out their weapons but before they could use them seven bullets were fired, each reaching their location. In their foreheads. They fell to the ground with a loud thud. I put away my gun and turned to Uzumaki .

"Nice aim, now lets get out of hear before your friends come." Uzumaki aimed his gun at the near corner before firing at it, I turned soon enough to see the camera being shattered to pieces.

"I never liked cameras."

We went to my car and drove off, passing the police on our way out.

"Hey look your girlfriend is with them." Uzumaki sighed.

"You're driving, do you really think that is a good idea?" I glared at the road and drove faster. Moron

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

We arrived at my house where I leisurely walked in and in and grabbed my clothes, laptop, money and everything else I found useful and walked out again, locking the door on my way.

I put my stuff in the trunk and got in the passenger seat. "Step on it Uzumaki its only a matter of time before they look at the footage and see us kissing and killing.

The car sped out the yard and onto the road until we got to a rather elegant looking apartment building. Uzumaki got out of the car and into the building.

After about 10 minutes he came back with 3 duffel bags and a few boxes which he put in the trunk as well as the back seat. I got back to the drivers seat and drove off.

"...there's a gas station ahead, it has an atm and a bank." I nodded and sped up until I saw the gas station.

Once we got there I went to the bank and signed the letter to allow all of my money to be handed to me physically. The tiller looked at me suspiciously and I simply winked at her before walking out the door. As soon as I got out I went back to the car to put the money under the seat and went to the convenience store for something to eat.

I walked through the aisle and took some water, soda and a few snacks. As I got to the till I took two packets of cigarettes before paying for it in cash. I walked out to find Uzumaki walking out of the bank holding a bag similar to the ones I had under my car seats. He tossed the bag in the car and got in.

"I already filled the tank lets go."

I got in the drivers seat and started the car. There was no turning back now, ever.

After about two hours of driving I stopped to find Uzumaki typing away on his laptop.

"What in the world are you doing?" he typed a few more words and closed his laptop.

"I just ordered two online tickets to Yemen." I motioned for him to carry on.

"I ordered them in both our names and I got two people who will be you and me until they get to Yemen."

"Ah, smart move. Who exactly did you get to be us?" he shrugged

"A couple criminals I know, both have gangs in Yemen so they will be fine." I nodded and he turned to me.

"So _**darling, **_what's the plan?" I glared at him before shrugging.

"Beats me, I say we just go with the flow"

"Huh?"

"Lets just see where this hopeless road will take us, who knows maybe we might end up being the most wanted criminals or gang leaders or we might end up being freelance assassins or elementary school teachers. The opportunities are endless ." Uzumaki nodded.

"Sounds good " He then reached for one of his duffel bags and pulled out a couple number plates.

"Here, put this on the back and I will put this on the front. I smiled and took a number plate. It was a pretty windy night and i felt my hands getting colder as I removed my old number plate and replaced it with this one.

As I made my way back I found Uzumaki sitting in the drivers seat.

"I drive for the first five hours then we switch turns." I simply sighed and got into the passenger seat.

He started the car and I tossed a packet of cigarettes his way and his eyes widened as he caught them. "Wouldn't want you to fall asleep while driving. Besides I cant smell it when i'm asleep." he chuckled softly before setting the car in motion and i smiled. This was going to be an interesting journey indeed.

[End Flashback]

"Woah! No way man! That's what happened?" Kiba yelled in complete awe and amazement. Sasuke nodded

"I'm guessing that is not the version you know?" Kiba took out his binder and pulled out a newspaper clipping.

" eight men were found in the parking lot of a local club, all had been brutally gunned down by the infamous poet Sasuke Uchiha and the one and only Sargent Naruto Uzumaki. Rumours say that the two were highly intoxicated thus leading to the heartless murder that happened here. We received a testimony from sargent Yamanaka that the poet Sasuke Uchiha was in custody earlier that day for the death of his house caretaker and that Sargent Naruto Uzumaki was the one questioning him. Is it possible that Sasuke may have been blackmailing sargent Uzumaki into helping him out with his heartless plan? Sargent Yamanaka says that it is most likely" Sasuke glared at the paper.

" that bitch! I knew that she hated me but what the?" Kiba laughed a bit before quieting down again.

"So you didn't plan on being the most wanted criminal but you thought of it as a possibility? Wow" Sasuke laughed.

"Yes, not even that idiot cop could have known. So i'm guessing you want to know what happened next." Kiba nodded.

" up until your arrest." Sasuke scowled at the arrest part but spoke nonetheless.

"Well after that we went to a town called..."


	5. Chapter 5

_This little gang was tough_

_And our fight was rough_

_They were stong, I will not lie_

_But in the end they had to die _

"Do I really need to say anything?" Kiba asked as he reclined in his seat. Sasuke laughed

"No, not at all."

«(**goin back in tyyyym**)»

I woke up to the sound of snoring and slowly opened my eyes to find Uzumaki snoring softly, the car was parked in what looked like a supermarket parking lot.

I decided to go for a walk so I looked for the car keys which were well hidden...in his right breast pocket where I distinctly remember the fool reaching for it and coming out with a cigarette.

I reached in the pocket and found the keys along with a lighter and 5 cigarettes and decided to take a walk.

As I went out of the car a tan hand reached out and grabbed me and I growled.

"What are you doing Uzumaki?" the owner of said hand got up and yawned before letting go of mine

"Wait a minute when while I put on my shoes, i'm coming with you whether you like it or not. " I sighed and waited for him to finish before locking the car.

The town was kinda small and and rather empty for a saturday morning but it had a grocery and fast food shop so it was good enough.

"Man i'm hungry" Naruto said while yawning again and I resisted the urge to facepalm

"I know, which is why we are currently walking in the direction of a fast food shop you moron!"

"Geez bastard you dont gotta be an ass about it!" he said as he took out another cigarette and went in the direction of the shop

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." a voice from behind said and we both turned to find a young woman leaning against what looked to be a cosmetics shop. I scowled

"And why not?" the woman smirked and held out a newspaper.

"I'm pretty sure everyone already has a copy by now, come inside before someone spots you." we then followed the woman into the shop and she motioned for us to sit down.

"As you can see, you guys are all over the news." she pointed to a newspaper which had me and Uzumaki on the cover page with the words _**Criminal Killers On The Loose **_were written in bold over our faces. Uzumaki gasped and I glared at the paper

"What the hell is this? My nose is NOT that big and I am definitely much hotter than that? This is an outrage!" both Uzumaki and the woman looked at me and I glared at them.

"Dude we are currently on the cover page of Fire Nation Times and you are worrying about how you look on the paper?" Uzumaki said while the woman snorted.

"Well if I am going to be on the cover then they can at least make me look good, people will be seeing this you baboon!" I yelled and this time the woman burst out laughing while Uzumaki facepalmed.

Just as he was about to retaliate the door swung open and 5 people ran in.

"Boss did you hear about Uchi...ha?" the first one said as he turned to stare at me while the other four's eyes widened. the woman got up from her chair and stood next to them.

"Allow me to introduce ourselves this is Hyuuga Hinata." she pointed to a blushing woman with dark blue hair and rather pale eyes

"This is her cousin Hyuuga Neji." she then pointed to a tall brunette male with equally pale eyes, he quickly bowed at us before closing his eyes.

"The guy over there is Sabaku no Gaara." she motioned to a short red haired male who was busy glaring at his shoes.

"That's his older sister Temari." she pointed to a tall blonde woman who had her hair tied into four spiky ponytails

"And the moron that just barged in here is Sai." she glared at a man that looked like a paler, less hot and awesome version of me, I scoffed at him and he smiled. Creepy

"And my name is Tayuya." I was about to speak when my Sasuke wannabe interrupted me.

"Ah I see, so the Vampire must be Uchiha Sasuke." I am so going to kill a bitch!

"And the dumb blonde must be Uzumaki Naruto!" welcome home my long lost twin brother!

Uzumaki glared before he started yelling at the me wannabe. I sighed before shoving a cigarette in his mouth and that seemed to shut him up.

"Yeah nice to know you and all but what does this have to do with us?" I inquired while Uzumaki started searching for his lighter. Tayuya smiled before picking up a remote controller and switching on the tv to the news channel.

_**"...nd the two men have still not surfaced yet so please if anyone sees these two men that should be on your screen right now please contact the number below and do not engage in any physical contact with them, they will kill you!" **_there was a long moment of silence before I decided to voice my own opinion.

"Oh so now they get my nose right but they couldn't do it for the newspapers? I am going to sue Fire Nation Times for all its worth, even if its the last thing I do!" everyone turned to gape at me, Uzumaki going as far as to let his burned cigarette drop to the floor and I glared weakly at them. What a bunch of drama queens.

Tayuya was the first one to recover and she switched off the tv while the others sat down.

"As you can see, you are currently on the run." Hinata stood up next

"Uzumaki Naruto, age 23, Parents Minato and Kushina died when you were three and you were raised by your guardians Tsunade and Jiraya who just recently passed away, you also have an adopted older brother by the name of Kyuubi, he disappeared a few months ago in search of the perfect beer." she took a deep breath before turning to look at me

" Uchiha Sasuke, age 23, Parents Mikoto and Fugaku died in a fire when you were 16 which was set by a few employees that had just been re trenched. Your guardian Kakashi then took you and your brother Itachi who is now 28 in and raised you both until he disappeared a couple years ago. Your brother is part of a notorious gang called the akatsuki." my eyes widened as she sat down and Neji stood up

"Uzumaki Naruto was a top class spy for the anbu before getting fired for disposing of a man he was supposed to protect, he then took a job at the police force but that is just a ruse so he could get some critical info to use against the anbu. His goal in life is to destroy the, and I quote 'stupid useless organization called anbu, bunch of bitches!" I snorted while Uzumaki mumbled something about pale eyed psychics

"Uchiha Sasuke was a member of the Akatsuki before leaving to chase his goal to become a poet. That recently stopped when he cold bloodedly killed his own girlfriend Karin because she was cheating on him, he also killed miss Haruno but that was in self defense." ok maybe Uzumaki has a point.

I huffed before standing up as well "Ok, you know a whole lot of stuff about us what do you want?" Tayuya raised an eyebrow and I sighed

"It is clear that one of you is a very experienced hacker, you could easily sell us out to the police so I repeat. What. Do. You. Want?" Tayuya shrugged

"What makes you think we want anything?" I glared at her before pulling out my gun and pointing it at her face. Her eyes widened while everyone else except Hinata and Sai also pulled out their guns.

" I will not hesitate to blow your brains out right here right now so answer my damn question woman!" Tayuya smirked

"If you do that then my team will kill you as well." I almost cursed when Uzumaki finally stood up from his spot on the chair.

"Actually its quite the opposite really. You see Neji may have his gun pointed at Uchiha but the way he has it pointed is a terrible mistake. If he were to fire it all Uchiha has to do is exhale and the bullet will easily fly over his head, striking Hinata on the forehead." I smirked before adding on

"Gaara on the other hand has a clean shot to the back of my head but his position is also giving Uzumaki a clean shot to his neck and higher vertebrae which will kill him before he can even pull his own trigger." gaara growled as he felt the cold metal of Uzumaki's pistol on his lower back. I smirked and he winked at me before continuing

"Since both hinata and gaara will be dead, both Sasuke and I can easily finish off Neji, who will be in trauma at killing his own cousin and Sai, who is just standing there before taking what we want and burning this place down."

"Hey what about me?" Temari inquired and I resisted the urge to facepalm right there.

"Temari, big sister of mine...your gun is upside down, if you fire it, it will kill you." Gaara explained while Temari gaped before lowering her gun. I smirked and turned back to Tayuya

"So do you still want to play dumb?" Tayuya glared at me before sighing in defeat

"Look, we want you to join our crew okay?" I raised my eyebrow at her before lowering my gun and sitting back down.

"Now why on earth would I want to join your group, I am my own boss and I do what I want _when_ I want." My smirk disappeared as Uzumaki roughly elbowed me in the gut

"What he is trying to say is that as appealing as your offer sounds we will have to decline as we really do not want to be in any gang. You see we are more free range, sorry." Uzumaki smiled sheepishly and Tayuya shrugged.

"Your loss, just remember that although you two are top ranking on the media you are still at the bottom on the billboard and that is not good news for you." both Uzumaki and I stiffened. Of course! How did I forget about that stupid chart now every low life gangster wannabe will be after us unless...

"Hehehehe." Everyone carefully took three steps away from me while Uzumaki prodded me softly with his gun

"Eh Uchiha not to be rude but you're looking a bit...evil." My smirk grew wider before I Turned to Tayuya

"So tell me, are you guys, attached to this town?" they all shook their heads before Gaara spoke up

"No in fact we were just passing by to take care of my late uncle's shop, today is our last day here, we just decided to shut this place down." I nodded in satisfaction

"Well them could you make sure that you are gone before midnight tonight? I have a statement to make and I do not want you to get caught up in the crossfire." their eyes widened before they all nodded.

"Wait wait wait a damn minute! Uchiha you had better not be planning what I think you're planning! These people are innocent! Are you crazy!?" Uzumaki practically yelled in my ear and I scoffed before punching him on the chest

"That's for elbowing me earlier and no you retard, I am not going to kill innocent people I am not insane!"

"Then what the hell are you going to do _smartass!" _I groaned as I felt a migraine creeping up my skull.

"Tayuya, Hinata, Temari, make him look like someone he's not. Gaara, Neji, My less hot doppelganger wannabe, guard the shop and make sure nobody comes in." they all nodded before the three ladies dragged a loudly protesting Uzumaki into what I assumed was a changing room.

"So since the girls are busy giving Uzumaki a makeover, who will change you?" Mini Me asked and I scoffed arrogantly

"Oh please mini me, I can do this myself." He scowled at the 'mini me' part before smiling and walking towards Neji and Gaara.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Perfect." I whispered as I looked at myself in the mirror.

I now had a shoulder length red wig on with brown eye contacts, I applied some of that brown stuff on my face to make me a bit more tanned. I wore simple faded ripped jeans with a long sleeved beach boy t-shirt and blue sneakers. I nodded in satisfaction before putting on a cap and turning it backwards to complete the look. Damn even as a redhead I still manage to look sexy, man I love myself.

"If you're done ogling yourself can you tell me exactly what your plan is?" A voice from behind me said and I turned to find a brunette man with short messy hair and equally brown eyes. He was dressed in a white dress shirt with black jeans and simple shiny black dress shoes. I smirked

"Not bad Uzumaki, I see they managed to make you look decent

"Don't push it Uchiha I haven't smoked in 20 minutes and I can already feel my body going into withdrawal so tell me the plan so I can go and get some more smokes before I die already!" I groaned at the moron in front of me before walking towards a chair and sitting down. The other 6 quickly shutting up to listen.

"Well we are going to go out and introduce ourselves as travellers then we will spend the whole day trying to get as much info about all the gangs in the area at the moment." Uzumaki scratched the back of his head

"Then what?

"Then" I chuckled darkly " by nightfall we hunt down every single gang member and kill them. Then" my chuckled gradually evolved into a laugh " we drag their bodies and pile them in the town square and leave a little love letter for the police." Tayuya and her gang shivered and stepped back again except for gaara who was busy glaring at his shoes_ again_ and Naruto who was deathly silent before walking slowly towards me.

"Uchiha...that could probably be the smartest thing you've thought of, lets do it!" he yelled before grinning, cigarette withdrawal long forgotten.

"I thought you didn't want any innocent lives to be claimed." I inquired and he shrugged

"Criminals are far from being innocent, so are the police." I smirked in acknowledgment before getting up.

"Well then lets get going."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We both briefly said goodbye to the small group and as we left the shop I turned to Mini Me and smirked

"Don't screw my reputation up more than it already is mini me." he smiled and waved

"Of course prissy one, take good care of dumb blonde okay." Uzumaki growled dangerously and I nodded

"Likewise." i'm really going to miss this guy.

"So Uchiha who are we." Uzumaki said and I suddenly remembered that I had to come up with different personalities for us.

"I am a young 19 year old college student studying engineering but all I want to do is to become a professional surfer, however my parents don't want be to surf since it is a stupid career choice." Uzumaki nodded in understanding and motioned for me to continue

"You are the 26 year old college professor who saw the potential surfer in me." Uzumaki smiled in agreement before Mini Me decided to add his two cents

"So you left your wife and kids to fend for themselves and you took poor Sasuke along on a road trip, pretending to actually care about his dreams when all you want to do is to find a nice french chick and tap her into the nearest wa-"

_WHAM! _I snorted as Mini Me was sent crashing through the store window by a red faced Uzumaki. Hinata gasped while Gaara sighed before walking in the store and dragging the now unconscious man out by his foot. He then glared at Temari who grumbled before leaning down and whispering something to Mini Me

I have never seen anyone look more scared in my life, not even my dear Karin.

"Hey Uchiha, what do you say? Its a pretty good story minus what Sai said." I voiced my agreement with my usual ' i'm better than you' smirk and we started walking towards the nearest shop.

Well I did, Uzumaki just sprinted towards the car and came back with a satisfied expression on his face and a lit cigarette in his mouth, tch if I ever become the Kage by some miracle then my first law will be to ban cigarettes. Ah yes imagine how many people will suffer, it will be some great entertainment especially if one decides to kill themselves. Or maybe I cold then host a death match, the last one alive gets a lifetime supply of cigarettes. Then I lace those cigarettes with potassium cyanide and watch them burn from the inside out, yes great entertainment. I wonder if I can get that stuff they put in atomic bombs, yes I will torture everyone before dropping a few atomic bombs on my way out of the country. I can see it already _the destruction of japan, caused by its own Kage Uchiha Sasuke, the hottest most awesome being in the universe! Bow down to him you ingrates!" _my lovely vision was disturbed by a finger prodding at my side

I turned to glare at Uzumaki when instead I found a group of people busy staring at me. The one who prodded me, a middle aged looking blonde man took a step back before sighing in relief

"Whew thank goodness you're ok, you looked a bit out of it for a while there busy smiling at the sky. So who are you? I've never seen you here before." I turned to find Uzumaki who mouthed 'Daisuke' to me and I turned back to the man

"Pa- I mean sorry man my name is Daisuke Uchi...masu, Daisuke Uchimasu and I am just passing by with my mentor Tatsuya Uzuchida. Sorry for the scare dude." I said while trying to make my voice as scratchy as possible. The man smiled before Uzumaki finally came up to me.

"Daisuke, how many times do I have to tell you. Manners boy manners." he sighed as he slowly shook his head and turned to the crowd

"I am Tatsuya Uzuchida, Daisuke's mentor. Do any of you know a nice place to eat, we're starving!" that seemed to shake everyone awake again. Both Uzumaki and I smiled at them and the ladies swooned, most of the teenage population already taking out their cell phones and cameras.

"So are you guys famous?"

"Daisuke kun! Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Tatsuya san what about you?"

"I bet he's married!"

"Don't say stuff like that you moron!"

"Yeah, we all know that if he's married then its to me!"

"Which one?"

"Both."

"No way! I pick Daisuke, look at that smirk, its simply screaming for me!"

"Tatsuya is mine!"

"He's too old for you, didn't you hear? He's a mentor!"

"So what he looks about 28years old, perfect age for me."

"YOU'RE _FIFTEEN!" _

My eyes widened while Uzumaki laughed uneasily. A member of the older population of the group then motioned for us to follow her into a nice looking restaurant.

"What would you like?"

"A tomato sandwich and some tea."

"Miso Ramen with coffee please?"

"Please have a seat and I will bring you the food shortly ." she said and then hurried towards what looked to be the kitchen.

"So Suya sensei, where we goin after this place?" I asked in my new teen Uzumaki voice and he raised an eyebrow. I sighed and casually pointed behind me and he got the message clearly.

"Well Daisuke kun I believe we need to find a place with a beach next so you can practice your surfing, after all the tournament is coming soon." he said in a mock professional voice as the waitress came back with our orders.

"Damn sensei, you're a really uptight guy. I know! First I gotta get you laid, i'm sure some poor woman won't mind." I smirked as Uzumaki choked on his coffee.

"Well that wouldn't be fair to my wife right?" my eyes widened but my response was cut of by a loud squealing

"OMIGOSH! He's married!"

"...told ya."

"No you didn't!"

"Man this sucks, now what?"

"Well at least we still have Daisuke...unless"

"Dont. Even. Say. It"

"You don't think."

"No but it is a possibility."

"The physical evidence votes against it."

"Yeah, there is no chemistry there."

"But it is possible that.."

"Oh yeah maybe it is, but that would have to mean that..."

"Oh"

"..my"

"..GACKT!"

" they totally are!"

"Ew, but he's married!"

"Forbidden love ladies, its real yo!"

Both me and Uzumaki had the same shocked look on our faces and I decided to fix this before it blows our cover.

"Ladies ladies, please stop trying to traumatize me and Suya sensei. Although would you like to show me around town? I'm getting bored already." the girls nodded and I turned to Uzumaki and whispered

"Go talk to the older people, I will stick with the teens." he nodded and I turned back to the girls and allowed them to drag me out of the restaurant.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I sighed in relief as I finally sat down, man these women can walk. They had already showed me most of the town in just under 30 minutes and we were now resting under a huge tree near the ice-cream shop.

"So ladies, is this the end of my tour?"

"Yeah, every other place is Bazuka's territory." I raised my eyebrow in question at that

" bazuka is this huge gang, ranked number 15 on the billboard, they are very dangerous and all."

"Yeah especially their leader, Brother Wan. I heard that he cuts people up for fun."

"No way! I heard that they killed 500 people already, just to get a status."

"Yep, my brother told me that you have to bring three decapitated heads to join the gang."

"For real? Where is he now?"

"They killed him."

"oh, sorry darling."

"Its ok, I would have killed him if they didn't" I cleared my throat to get their attention before speaking

"So this gang is very dangerous and feared correct?" they nodded

"And they terrorize this town correct?" they nodded again

"So are all of the members currently here?" the girls nodded slowly in suspicion and I realized that I needed to correct my statement first.

"So do any of you know of any safe places to leave Suya sensei's car?" their eyes widened in understanding before they all nodded

" there is this place we keep our valuables each night, especially tonight."

"The boss is coming al hell will break loose, again."

"Quite frankly i'm tired of this."

"Yeah but I heard the boss is a real hottie."

"Too bad he's in a gang."

"All the hot ones are gone, shame"

"Yeah." just then my phone rang and I answered in

"Hello?"

_"Uchiha get here now, i'm back at the shop"_

I got up and so the ladies stopped their conversation about the hotness of the Bazuka boss.

"Well ladies I have to go now the sun is setting and I still need to do some stuff so later." they awwed and waved goodbye before continuing their conversation.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Finally! Where were you?" Uzumaki screamed as I walked in the shop and locked the door behind me.

"Getting information on this town and the gang." he sighed before sitting down

"Great, what I gathered was that the Bazuka is a notorious gang with about 25 known members, tonight is their monthly meeting night so everyone is headed to an airtight hall to stock all of their cars since they cant be outside and a garage is too risky." I nodded before adding my information

"I heard pretty much the same, also the leader of the gang is a real hottie." Uzumaki stared at he before bursting out laughing.

"Hahahahahah, yeah real useful info there Uchiha hahahahahahah!" I scowled before punching in in the gut, effectively shutting him up.

"Well then, lets gear up." we went to the room where we left our guns to find a case with a note on it

_Make sure you kill them all_

_Next time we meet, you will pay us back_

_T.H.G.N.T.S _**(1)**

I opened the case to find guns, gas-masks, teargas, bulletproof vests, rope, a few daggers and a nice Katana blade. I smirked as I picked it up and unseathed it. The blade was perfectly cut and sharp.

"Its mine." I growled and Uzumaki shrugged

"Sure I'm more of a firearm guy anyway." I nodded before glancing at everything else in the box as Uzumaki picked up a gun.

"Rasengan." he whispered and I gave him a questioning look. He sighed

"This gun, its an S&amp;W 500 magnum. One of the most lethal handguns in existence." he said as he softly caressed the gun while gazing at it in awe. I snorted

"I know that moron, I was asking about the Rasenin comment or whatever it is." Uzumaki growled

"Its Rasengan you twit and its my guns new name!" I silently mouthed 'twit' to myself before shaking my head in defeat.

"Sure whatever" I then went and picked out a 50 caliber Desert Eagle and twisted it.

"Hn, pick a weapon...another one moron." Uzumaki rolled his eyes before shoving half his body in the box.

I turned to my new gun, it was a pretty cool one and unlike Uzumaki's revolver mine was sleek and straight. I slowly felt the exterior in a similar fashion to Uzumaki. Perfect, just like my sword this gun was something I wouldn't mind keeping forever. The effort that went into making this must have been extrao-"

"AHA I FOUND YOU!" I almost dropped my gun in shock as my eyes widened before narrowing dangerously. Sadly the object of my anger was too busy ogling what looked like a mix between a dagger and an ancient kunai knife. I have to admit it was a rather nice knife, with a leather handle and a three dimensional blade.

"And I will call you Ramen!" it took almost all my willpower not to facepalm at that.

"Are you crazy? What kind of a name is that?" I asked and Uzumaki glared at me

"Well at least its a name, what do you call yours? Oh wait I know...Sword and Gun right?"

"Still better than Ramen." I mean seriously, who names such a lethal deadly weapon after noodles?

"Well fine, if you can name your weapons then I will change Ramen's name." ...and be like 'I will stab you with Ramen!' that doesn't even sound threatening, even a freaking three year old could...wait, name my weapons? I turned to look at Uzumaki who was in the middle of lighting a cigarette.

"Fine, how about Sas and 'ke?" Uzumaki gaped at me in shock

"And you think that is better than Ramen? Common Uchiha give it depth, something cool yet meaningful geez!" meaningful huh? I thought for a few minutes before coming up with names.

"...Sharingan and Chidori." I mumbled and Uzumaki grinned

"That's more like it! Fine how about Kage?" I nodded in approval before Uzumaki screamed and before I could knock him back to the real world he shakily pointed out to the window."

"Uchiha look at that?" I growled in annoyance

"There is nothing outside except for the moon and streetlights moron!" wait...moon...streetlights.

"Shit!" I yelled as I hurriedly put on a bulletproof vest and grabbed Chidori and Sharingan while Uzumaki did the same. The time had finally come, tonight is the night. The night that a gang will fall, people will die and our names will be tattooed into the minds of everyone.

To be continued...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: and that is where it ends for now. Remember constructive criticism is always welcome, flaming is not.**

**Thanks to everyone who follows this story and to my only reviewer so far Shadow the dragonslayer, thank you sooo much! Bonnie and Clyde huh?**

**(1)** _T.H.G.N.T.S is Tayuya. Hinata. Gaara. Neji. Temari. Sai_


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay moron listen carefully, this mission only has one objective. To kill every single one of them, do not let anyone of them escape clear?" I whispered as we crouched underneath a window leading to the gangs meeting place. Uzumaki glared at me but nodded in agreement.

I sighed as I loaded the bullets into Chidori **(1)** and slipped my gas mask on. There was was no turning back now, it was now or never.

I glanced at Uzumaki who had just finished loading the bullets into his revolver and was currently slipping on his gas mask, paper clip in hand. He took off his brown colour contacts and quickly moulded the clip into the shape of a makeshift key before shoving it into the keyhole, his now blue eyes were flooding with pure concentration as he manoeuvred the clip slowly and soundlessly. The only sound was our rapid breathing through the masks but it was soon disturbed by a very soft click.

"I'm in, do your thing Uchiha." I smirked before biting off the head of the tear-gas and kicking the door with as much force as I could. The inhabitants of the room barely had time to blink before the room was flooded with the poisonous gas.

Both Uzumaki and I ran towards opposite directions, closing the door first. Let the spree begin.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[{_RANDOM GANG MEMBER'S POV}]_

"If that is all then I suggest we move on to the next agenda." I sighed in boredom as Brother Wan kept on talking about whatever the hell he was blabbing about. Don't get me wrong I admire the guy and respect him as our leader but man is he a snooze festival. Sometimes I wish that something interesting could happen at least once.

And as if my wish had been granted the door suddenly burst open and a gloved hand threw in a round grey object.

"Oh shit!" Blade yelled before the entire room was filled with tear gas. I put my nose into my shirt and hid behind the now overturned meeting table. There were two of them, one with a S&amp;W magnum and the other had a desert Eagle I couldn't clearly see them as they had gas masks and black beanies on but I could tell that they meant business.

I watched as the one with the Eagle effortlessly shoot down the members of the gang like flies, standing in the same position but not once getting grazed by a bullet. I leaned towards the guy and my eyes widened. That damn bastard was batting away the bullets that were headed his way with what looked like a katana blade.

"Impossible." I whispered as I stared in silent awe at the man. He had the gun tilted in his left hand and was batting away the bullets with his right with unbelievable speed, both hands and weapons moving effortlessly together.

I turned towards his accomplice to find him holding a dagger to Brock's neck while he shot at rest. I was about to reach for my gun and save him when I saw a devastating sight. Brock was long dead, his throat had a thin red line running across it and his body was littered with holes. My fist curled up in anger. He was using Brock as a shield against the gang and one by one I watched the gang fall one by one, all of them dropping quicker than I was blinking.

The two attackers had now resolved to using their other weapons as their guns seemed to have run out of bullets, the sounds on various bones breaking and metal entering flesh filled my ears. The room had now cleared and the only smell left was of blood and gunpowder, it was nauseating. The only one left was Brother Wan who was barely alive, both his legs had been shot and his right arm was missing. I watched as the one with the Katana walked up to him and with one swift motion he sliced Brother Wans head clean off the shoulders. As he stood over our leaders corpse I realised that this was my chance, my opportunity to end them both here and now. I shakily reached for my gun when I felt warm, wet steel at the back of my neck

"Don't even think about it pal." I immediately stiffened as the man removed the object off my neck.

I was about to sigh in relief when I felt excruciating pain shoot up my back. Blood trickled slowly down my mouth as I laughed weakly, I had been back stabbed. What a fitting way for me to die after all I had just sat and done nothing as my fellow comrades and leader were killed.

I slowly slumped to the floor as I felt darkness and sleep overtake me and I opened my eyes one last time to see blue eyes filled sadness and accomplishment staring back at me and he uttered one last thing.

"kill every single one of them, leave no survivors."

And it all went black.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[{_BACK TO SASUKE_}]

"Hey Uzumaki are you okay?" I asked as. I leaned down to pick up my fallen gun. He laughed uneasily before grinning.

"Uchiha I used to be an agent, this is nothing compared to what I've seen throughout my life." I scowled before smirking

"Ah a big word, who knew that mass execution could increase your vocabulary? The world is indeed filled with wonders." I said and he playfully glared at me

"Shut it Uchiha! So um how are we supposed to get all these bodies to the middle of the street?" my eyes widened before I sighed.

"Hn.."

"Hm"

"Hn"

"Hm"

"Hm"

"...I say we leave em here." I raised an eyebrow in confusion and he sighed

"We leave the wigs, clothes and contact lenses here and dial the police using a public phone, maybe leave some kind of statement to prove that we did it." I nodded in agreement

"Fine I will go get the stuff we were wearing before and you deal with the 'statement' we only have about 30 minutes before the townspeople come out of the safety hall or whatever they call it."

"Roger."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Damn it where could those two be?!" Sargent Ino yelled and Sargent Shizune sighed deeply. They were all gathered in a meeting to discuss the SasuNaru issue but so far they had nothing. Sargent Lee and Sargent Tenten were busy looking over the files while Sargent Shikamaru snored softly. Captain Iruka and Kurenai were quietly sipping coffee when Asuma burst in the room.

"Asuma what's going on?" Iruka asked as Asuma produced a cell phone out of his pocket.

"Wait and see." as if on cue the phone rang and Asuma answered it putting it on loudspeaker.

"They are all here so speak."

_"Very well, hello everyone its me Sasuke."_

There were loud gasps all around the room

_"I'm calling to inform you that NO I did not kidnap your idiot captain! He came on his own."_

"How sure are we that you are not lying to us?" Tenten asked

_"Hmm sure, here moron.__** I am not a freaking moron! Hey guys!"**_

"Naruto! What did you do? What happened?" Iruka asked as the entire group perked at hearing his voice

_**"Well funny story but as you all know I joined to police force for one reason only. To-"**_

"Get back at the stupid useless organisation called anbu, bunch of bitches." this time everyone answered at the same time.

_**"Ah you know me so well guys! Anyway I decided that the force was not getting me anywhere so I am going after them my way."**_

"Well then Naruto if that is the case then what about Uchiha Sasuke?" lee asked

_**"Oh no Uchiha is just doing this because he doesn't want to go to jail, talk about self centred but anyway I think that- **__give me the stupid phone! So there I let you speak with him now about my enquiry about Fire Nation Times."_

Everyone turned to Asuma who sighed

"Uchiha wants us to destroy the photo of himself that we released to Fire Nation Times because apparently his nose is not that big." everyone including Shikamaru gawked at him and then at the cell phone

"You're kidding right?"

_"Hey! Don't you dare judge me. You don't know how devastating this is! I demand you get rid of that photo immediately."_

"And why should we?" Tenten asked but was stopped by Asuma

"Consider it done, now your side of the deal?"

_"Hmm fine...I assume you have already tracked where this phone is, when you arrive there ask anyone for the Bazuka's main hideout. oh and also tell the ladies that Daisuke says hi and bye, later." _

At that moment the tech guy walked in and turned to Asuma

"Its from a town about 15 miles away, I have already set your gps to it sir." he then turned and left.

"Well then Shikamaru, Shizune, Tenten lets go!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz__

"Its this way!"

"Yeah so where are you from?"

"Why are you here?"

"I think its because of the gunshots last night."

"Oh yeah! I wonder what happened."

"Maybe they were training."

"Oh maybe it was an execution."

"So many options to choose from.."

"They were only two you idiot!"

"I dare you to call me that again."

"Well here we are! See you later, lets go girls!"

"Bye!"

The three Sargent's rushed in while Asuma turned towards the retreating group

"Uh ladies." they all turned to look at him

"Daisuke says hi and bye."

"I knew it! He misses me!"

"Pssht you wish, we all know he meant me!"

"Would you girls stop fighting over my future husband, geez where is the respect here?"

Asuma snorted before heading in the scene. What he found in there was guaranteed to give him nightmares for a very long time.

Bloody corpses were littered all over the room, severed body parts, stray bullets and blood...lots of blood.

"Who could have done such a thing?"

"Naruto and Uchiha." Shikamaru said and Asuma stared at him in question.

Shikamaru sighed and pointed to the wall which had the words _NARUTO AND SASUKE WERE HERE BITCHES!_ Carved into the bloody wall.

"Uh guys." Tenten called out uneasily "lets get out of here now!" Lee was about to ask why but one look from Tenten and he was sprinting towards the door along with the other three.

Once outside they had three moments of silence before a loud **boom** was heard and they were sent flying towards their squad cars. They all glared at the black patch of rubble.

"Uzumaki and Uchiha...congratulations you are now on Japans most wanted." Asuma seethed

Nobody objected.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A blonde and a raven haired man leaned side by side on a sleek black ford mustang, the blonde happily smoking a cigarette while the raven admired the sight in front of them. Not long after the explosion the scene became crowded with cars and people.

"Where did you get the explosives?" I asked as I watched the aftermath of the explosion. Uzumaki shrugged

"I was actually looking for some cigarettes when I found em, oh I also found some cigars and a fat load of cash." my eyes widened at the cash part and I turned to him.

"Where is it?"

"Oh I soaked it in some gunpowder and used it to start the explosion, pretty smart huh?" he turned to me, his face full of pride.

I resisted the urge to slice his head off with sharingan.

"...lets just go Uzumaki." I said as I stepped into the drivers seat, Uzumaki getting into the seat next to me. I slowly pulled out of the parking space my evil smirk firmly in place.

"Hey Uchiha, the exit is that way." Uzumaki said as he chuckled uneasily. My smirk widened

"Oh I'm just taking a quick detour, nothing to worry about."

"Yeah but the police are also tha...h-hey Uchiha please tell me you're not going to OH SHIT! Uchiha turn back now! Reverse! Reverse!" Uzumaki frantically screamed as I picked up speed and skidded next to the squad cars, ambulance and the news van.

"And this recent crime scene is said to have been the work of none other than oh my gosh! There they are, police! Police!" the news lady yelled and I turned to look at Uzumaki, the sight I saw almost made me gawk in disbelief. Gone was the frantic, panicking Uzumaki and had been replaced with the cool calm and collected Uzumaki that had walked into the interrogation room back at the police station a couple of days ago, damn he's good.

I was awaken from my stupor by a hard sound on my car window.

"Uchiha, Uzumaki is it true that you single handedly took out the entire Bazuka gang in just a few hours?" the reporter asked and I slowly opened it, making sure to keep her right in front of me to prevent the cops from shooting at me.

"Actually it took about thirty minutes to wipe them out, to be honest they were quite disappointing really isn't it...Uzumaki?" I purred the last word out as I turned to my accomplice.

"Yeah, I mean I was expecting more of a challenge heck I didn't even break a sweat." his voice turned from calm to annoyed "they were even worse than that stupid useless organisation called ambu, bunch of bitches." he grumbled the last part out as the reporter sweat dropped.

"Anyway it was nice talking to you but places to go, people to threaten, things to destroy so move and Fire Nation Times, if you don't remove that insulting picture of me on your newspapers I will personally remove it myself." I said and just as I had arrived, I exited the scene with intense speed the sound of bullets meeting metal becoming less and less until the only sound was the car and Uzumaki's laughter.

"Hey moron, quit laughing already." I seethed as Uzumaki finally stopped laughing.

"Okay i'm done by the way how come none of the bullets actually went through the car, now that I think of it." he opened the window and shoved his head outside "there aren't any marks that show signs of bullets anywhere hell the car looks the same as it did before we left the scene."

"Bullet proofed my car a while ago including the tires."

"huh? With what money?" he asked as he put another cigarette in his mouth. I reached out and swiftly plucked it out before it could be lit

"Again do not smoke these where I can inhale them and I got the money from my poetry." his annoyed look turned to one of curiosity

"Wait how much do you earn?"

"About 2480000 yen per poem."

"WHAT!? Are you telling me that you get paid that much money just by writing a bunch of words that don't even make sense on paper?" I growled and pulled the car over only to punch him on the face. He leaned back to narrowly avoid the punch and I twisted it to elbow him on the stomach.

"Don't you _ever _insult my poetry." I seethed and he grinned at me which caught me by surprise.

"Hey sorry I guess that was a bit heartless by the way hey Uchiha." I slowly lifted my head to look at him only to get socked on the jaw.

"That's for elbowing me you jerk, it really hurt."

"yeah and getting socked in the face doesn't?" I glared at him as I retreated my elbow from his stomach to nurse my now very painful jaw. There was a moment of silent before Uzumaki burst out laughing again and I chuckled lightly.

"Oh man, you are one crazy guy Uchiha." I smirked

"And you Uzumaki are insane."

"And that is why we still haven't killed each other."

"Roger that." and with that I pulled out of the sidewalk while Uzumaki shoved a tooth pick in his mouth and as I picked up speed Uzumaki turned to me again.

"Hey Uchiha where are we going now?"

I shrugged and kept on driving while looking at uzumaki at the corner of my eye and I couldn't help but smile, who knew that I would ever get such an insane moron as an accomplice and friend. I ignored the slightly painful jab on my heart at the thought of Uzumaki as a 'friend' and made a right turn as I remembered that moment in the parking lot. I will just deal with that when the time comes but in the meantime

"I have no idea Uzumaki." he grinned and pulled out the now thoroughly chewed tooth pick, choosing to chew some gum instead

"Thought as much."

[{END FL SHBACK}]

Kiba nodded in understanding "woah do really took out the Bazuka gang on your own?" Sasuke nodded

"Yes, although I believe the next part will surely make you forget about the Bazuka ."

"Why?"

"I suppose you remember what happened on July 15th in Tazuku town?"

" hmmm oh yeah I remember...wait that was you?!" Both guards raised their guns while Sasuke scowled. Kiba quietly apologised

"Yes that was me."

"But the witnesses said that the killer shot that other guy because he...oh." Sasuke shook his head while suppressing a snort.

"Well then lets get to it kid."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: **yes! My chapters are getting longer and longer. I do not own Naruto!

Thanks to my story followers, my reviewer and the anonymous readers bye!


	7. Chapter 7

"No"

"Oh come on man, it'll be fun!"

"...no"

"Please."

"No"

"Why?"

"Its unnecessary, unhygenic, uncouth and most of all unimportant."

"Wow such use of alliteration, your elementary school teacher would be proud...by the way we should stop somewhere now, I really need to take a shower"

"Its only been 10 hours since we left the town moron and its assonance not alliteration, your elementary school teacher would be sighing in disappointment and embarrassment."

"Tch you wish, Iruka sensei loved me and I haven't taken a shower since we left Konoha." I turned to face him

"Why on earth did you not take a shower at the shop?"

"I only had time to brush my teeth before the girls started on my makeover and the second time I was too busy destroying a hideout and planting evidence to take a shower jerk!" I sighed before pulling up in front of a hotel.

"Look into that green bag in the back seat and grab a wig and some colour contacts." he did as was told and pulled out a red wig and some red contacts, he then looked in the mirror and wolf whistled

"Damn I look like my brother!"

"No you look like kyuubi no kitsune."

"Yeah, he's my brother and how on earth do you know him?"

"You look nothing like each other and he's a regular at the akatsuki base."

"He was adopted and what do you mean by 'regular' and why were you in the akatsuki base?"

"Ah, makes sense now and I mean that he spends so much time there he might as well just join the group. I used to be a member."

"Oh, now enough gossip lets work on changing your look." I sighed before reaching in the bag and grabbing a random wig. I then put it on and started working on applying the brown contacts without incident. Uzumaki snickered

"Nice hair Uchiha." I quickly looked into the rear view mirror and smirked.

"I know." I then took the rubber bracelet I was wearing and tied my now shoulder length blue hair into a high ponytail.

"So who are we now?" Uzumaki grinned

"Well I am a famous actor and you are my gender confused brother." I facepalmed, why on earth did I even ask him? Although the actor part was a pretty good idea.

"Tch, fine I am an aspiring new model and you are my idiot agent who doesn't even know half of what he is doing." Uzumaki smirked

" If I am such a terrible agent then why did you hire me?" I shrugged

" You were the cheapest one." immediately the smirk vanished from his face and he burst out laughing. Seriously can't this guy just take an insult like a sane person for once?

"Moron." I then took the bag with my clothes in and stepped out of the car, Uzumaki following closely behind while trying to subdue his laugh.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Welcome to Sanchou hotel." the receptionist greeted us brightly and Uzumaki grinned back at her while I simply nodded.

"Thank you mam, we need a room with two single beds. How much will that be miss Sakuyi?" the lady blushed as Uzumaki whispered her name and I resisted the urge to scowl because apparently kind, caring people don't scowl...what a bunch of losers.

"That would be 144000 yen per night, how long will you be staying?" Uzumaki turned to face me

"How long should we stay...Hinata?" I glared.

"Beats me Karin, as long as I get to properly see this town before we leave i'm good."

"Very well then we shall stay two nights miss Sakuyi ." she smiled before handing Uzumaki some papers

"That will be 288000 yen, if you could sign here and here." she pointed to some places on the paper and Uzumaki signed them. I peaked over to see what he signed and was pleased to find that he find not put his real signature there. We paid and then headed up the stairs to where our room was, on the 12th floor.

"Did you really have to name me after your dead girlfriend?" Uzumaki said while scowling.

"You named me after a woman too idiot"

"Well at least she ain't dead! Besides that woman and her cousin are geniuses, you should be proud."

"Karin was a very high ranking shareholder in the stockmarket so we're even."

"...I hate you."

"And again we're even."

We finally stopped in front of room 789 and immediately after I opened the door Uzumaki pushed passed me and ran inside.

"Woohoo! Time for some one on one time with me and the shower!" Uzumaki exclaimed as he threw his duffel bag on the floor and sprinted towards the bathroom. I sighed and closed the door before sitting down on one of the beds. As I sat down I was overcome with a great deal of fatigue, who knew I was this tired and I only drove for two hours!

My eyes widened in realisation and I hurried towards the bathroom to see the shower running and Uzumaki passed out, naked on the floor. I felt my face heat up and did not need to look in the mirror to know what was happening...damn you Uzumaki.

I switched the shower off and attempted to haul Uzumaki off the floor and over my shoulder but I missed one simple detail.

"Man what the hell are you eating? How can someone be so skinny and so heavy at the same time?"

As you see that was a bust so I simply resorted to dragging him back into the bedroom. I then used the power of my greatness to haul him onto the bed and then a new problem arose. Did Uzumaki sleep in the nude or with clothes on? Deciding to be on the safe side I searched his duffel bag for a pair of boxers and started slowly dressing him, careful to avoid any contact with his crotch.

Finally after a great deal of blood rushing towards my face and another body part I shall not mention I had successfully tucked him in and was currently taking off my sweater and jeans. Sadly the moment my head touched the pillow my world faded to black.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I awoke to the sound of the shower going off and before I could comprehend what was happening the bathroom door opened and Uzumaki, now dressed in a towel walked out. I yawned and he turned towards me, eyes wide and I snorted.

"What?"

He shrugged

"Didn't know you were awake, that's all."

I nodded before getting out of the bed and walking towards the bathroom when

"Hey Uchiha."

I stopped and turned

"Hmm?"

He smirked

"Thanks."

I kept on walking

"No problem."

And just like that the subject was dropped.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I stepped into the shower and thought about everything that has been happening from that bar that started all this mess to meeting Uzumaki and mini me also known as Sai to the ladies back in Bazuka town. Who knew that all it took was one writers block and I would be on the run, my reputation ruined and an ex cop as my only accomplice. This just proves that life can be very unexpected at times. I smiled to myself in memory of all the factors that have played a part in where I am right now. I smirked in anticipation to where this road will take me as I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.

I walked back in the room to find Uzumaki now fully dressed in some blue jeans and a very familiar dress shirt, sitting on his bed and polishing his gun. I glared

"Uzumaki!"

"What?"

"...would you mind explaining why you are currently wearing my shirt and my shoes?"

"I'm your agent and an agent does not wear polo t-shirts and converse sneakers or at least I think they don't." I scowled before stalking over to his bag and taking a long sleeved blue vest and a pair of sneakers. I then began to change, all the while Uzumaki kept on polishing his gun.

"Hey Uchiha."

"What now?"

"So about the club-"

"I said no."

"tch fine, be like that anyway lets go eat i'm starving!" I rolled my eyes before grabbing the room key and my wallet and making my way towards the door.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We waved the receptionist goodbye as we walked out and headed for what looked like a restaurant a few shops away.

It was already night time as it seems we spent the entire afternoon sleeping. There were quite a lot of people wandering around and I figured the place had a lot of bars and clubs, looks like Uzumaki knew this place..that would explain why he keeps pestering me about going to one.

I turned to look at said man and only met a brick wall. Tch figures the blond just had to rush. I scoffed before walking at a slightly faster pace towards the place than before.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Evening sir, table for one?" a white haired waiter asked as I walked through the golden doors.

"Hn, have you seen a man about my height, red hair red eyes...wearing a suit that clearly looks terrible on him?" the waiter sweat dropped

"Uh yes although I think the suit looks quite fine on him." I glared at the man and he quickly turned around shivering. I smirked at that, looks like Uzumaki is still the only one un fazed by the glare.

"Of course sir please follow me." I had to give the guy credit for not losing his composure, he could have been a great politician, or a terrorist.

As we walked past the restaurant I turned to admire the decor. The restaurant had about three floors, the first floor was just like a traditional japanese restaurant, quiet but cosy, the chairs were rather low as to look like mats and the waiters were all dressed in traditional kimonos, the waitresses dressed as geisha.

"Ah yes that floor was level one, for the less rich, your friend is on the third floor." The waiter said as we climbed past the second floor, a sushi bar and onto the third floor. We reached a large room which was decorated as a very costly western restaurant, like that one I went to while visiting England a few years ago. The tables were all decorated in gold and silver, I could tell that most people here were very rich judging by the number of bodyguards in the room. I scoffed but followed the man in towards where I could see Uzumaki sipping on a glass of wine while conversing with a blond waitress.

"Suzaki, table four is waiting to be served and here we are sir." I sat down opposite Uzumaki as the waitress hurried off.

"Here are your menus, I will be back in a few minutes to take your orders." the waiter then walked away and I turned to glare at Uzumaki.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Well I thought you might like it being the high class bastard you are." he answered without skipping a heartbeat. My glare hardened

"I hate it." he growled

"Well _sorry_ if I couldn't get a higher class sir."

"No you idiot, I mean that I hate these types of restaurants." he looked at me in confusion

"Why?"

"Look around moron, this place is full of politicians, feudal lords and trophy wives. Its no longer about the food, its about status."

"Uh so what are you trying to say?" he said as he drank some more of his wine

"I prefer level one." and promptly choked as it went down the wrong pipe

"Sirs, are you ready to- dude are you ok?" I turned to waiter who was now slapping Uzumaki on the back while said said Uzumaki continued to choke. I chuckled lightly at the scene while everyone else continued to mind their own business.

"Tch figures none of these people would help, probably too busy doing nothing."

"Hey you weren't helping as well bastard." as so the waiter was finally able to stop the choking, what a shame.

"So sirs are you ready to order?" I turned towards the man

"Ah yes, we would like to go back to the ground floor."

"_What! _But I already-"

"I'll pay you back Karin! Now as I was saying."

"Of course sir but if i may ask why?"

"...I don't like this floor." the waiter nodded in understanding

"Ah, too full of fake posers right? Follow me" I smirked as I stood up followed by a seething Uzumaki. I wonder what is up with him today, he is being more cranky than usual and that only happens when...oh.

"Hmm waiter, take us to the smoking zone if you have one." the waiter nodded and Uzumaki finally stopped seething.

We finally reached the ground floor or level one as these people call it. The waiter took us to a booth with two mats and a low table in between. We took off our shoes before kneeling down on the mats and looking at the menus provided. The waiter excused himself again and Uzumaki took out a cigarette and lit it, I grimaced but stopped myself from grabbing the offending object from between his lips.

"Hey Uchiha not that i'm ungrateful or anything but why are you allowing me to smoke within 10 meters of you?" I looked up at the ceiling

"You looked like you were about to grab the nearest thing and go on a killing spree, I did it for my own sanity." he nodded slowly and the waiter finally came back

"Sirs are you ready to order now." I nodded towards Uzumaki

" I will have the miso ramen and some sake."

"I will have the tempura roll with tomato juice." the waiter bowed before walking off

"Seriously man tomato juice?" I glared at him

"Says the guy ordering ramen in a restaurant." it was Uzumaki's turn to glare now and I smirked in victory, that is until I saw a familiar look on his face. He then proceeded to take a long drag of his cigarette-

"Uzumaki if you even think of-" and blew it right in my face. I coughed for a while before snatching the offending object and putting it out in the ashtray provided.

I then hauled Uzumaki halfway over the table and giving him my most deadliest glare

"I thought we agreed that you were to never _ever_ do that again Uzumaki." I seethed and Uzumaki was about make a comeback when he looked over my shoulder and smiled

"Oh Hinata I didn't know that you felt that way but you do know that I would never leave you for that blonde waitress, I was just passing time now please let go of me." I stared at him in confusion before letting go of his shirt and turning around to see a few people including our waiter openly staring at us.

"Don't you people have anything better to do?" and just like that everyone carried on with their business. The waiter put down our orders before leaving again

"...when we reach the hotel I am going to murder you with your own bloody gun Uzumaki."

"Looking forward to that Uchiha."

There was a brief moment of silence before we both burst out laughing, attracting more stares this time.

The rest of the meal was spent rather peacefully. We then paid for out meal and left the place.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As we walked down the street towards an unknown destination my mind began to wonder off to back in the hotel room. What exactly do I feel for my idiotic partner in crime? Love? lust? hate? tolerance? A quickly glanced at the man who was busy chewing on some gum.

"Hey Uzumaki, lets go back to the hotel."

"But what about-"

"Now." he mumbled something about prissy, bossy pale bastards but turned around nonetheless, leaving me back to my thoughts.

Now I am not a post-pubescent teenager nor am I a lovesick fool so I wasn't worried about what Uzumaki's answer will be. The real question was what do I feel for him. I was very disturbed about my current predicament but as we neared the hotel I decided to follow my instincts instead of my logic for once and besides, if I don't get the answer I want then I could just shoot him in the head I mean really what do I have to lose?

I opened the room door and walked towards my bag. Once there I pulled out sharingan **(1)** and set it under my pillow.

"Uzumaki come over here for a second." said man turned away from whatever he was watching and walked towards my bed.

"So you gonna tell me what was the whole U turn about princess?" I silently seethed at the 'princess' comment but kept my composure.

"It has recently come to my attention that I may have some sort of twisted attraction to you and since I do not like keeping unnecessary burdens I have decided to tell you...you may leave now." I watched in amusement as his eyes widened to a point where they threatened to roll out of his skull.

"You're screwin with me right?" I sighed and slowly reached for my gun. Well its been fun I guess

"Do I look like a joker to you?" he chuckled lightly

"Well I wasn't expecting that but...sure lets date." my hand paused on its way to its destination

"What?"

"Well I am man enough to admit that you are hot-" I glared at that

"Plus the fact that I guess you get me more than most people do, never mind the fact that I don't have to worry about jealousy or defending your 'honour' or something like that."

"That doesn't even make sense moron and I thought you were straight."

"First of all it wasn't supposed to make sense and secondly I am a free man who has the ability to change sexuality at any given time. Besides just because I am dating another man does not mean I can't appreciate the female human body nor does it mean that I will suddenly turn female." I couldn't believe I was attracted to this.

"Whatever you say idiot." I said as I took off my shoes and climbed onto the bed, making sure to remove the gun before lying on the pillow

"Hey Uchiha since we are like together now does that mean I have to hold your hand in public and take you out on dates and all that jazz?"

"..do that and chidori **(2)** will be saying hello to your vital organs."

"Hehe I was just playing, hey what about the club?"

"Tomorrow, I want to sleep now." I said and Uzumaki laughed

"Goodnight princess."

"Up yours pheasant."

[{END FL SHBACK}]

Kiba scratched the bridge of his nose

"hmm the story is beginning to make sense now." Sasuke nodded

"Good to hear child."

"So when are you gonna tell me about what really happened at the club and how the murder of-"

"Patience child, patience. So the next day we-"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: wow long time, real life issues happened but I am back now and I will try to update every monday! Hopefully.**

**Anyway as you can see, this story is under the categories "**_crime" _**and **_"drama"_** not "**_romance" _**and **_"fluff"_** so there won't be much crying in each others arms and embracing their love. Both characters are fully fledged men, not women in men's bodies and remember **_**ITS NOT SHOUNEN AI IF ONE OF THEM IS ACTING LIKE A FEMALE **_**Just to clear that up. Thanks for reading! Constructive criticism is welcome, flaming is not.**

**Disclaimer: yes I do own Naruto, which is why I am currently writing fanfiction about it.**

**(1) Sasuke's guns name**

**(2) Sasuke's swords name**


	8. Chapter 8

_**This one was purely by mistake**_

_**His life was not mine to take**_

_**At least he learned something tonight**_

_**Never interrupt when lovers fight**_

"Finally!"

"You really have no patience do you child?"

"No at all sir!"

[{BEGIN FLASHBACK}]

I woke up to the sound of the shower running again and I sighed, remembering what happened yesterday. Looks like I'm now dating the idiot...just when I thought this couldn't get any more complicated.

I opened the bathroom door and Uzumaki screamed. Well that made me happier.

"What the hell Uchiha? Don't you know how to respect other peoples privacy?" I smirked

"First of all I can't see anything in that steam plus i've seen it all before and secondly I need to brush my teeth." he grunted something incoherent before returning to his shower an I resumed my task as well.

"Hey Uchiha, what do we do today?"

"Beatsh me, we could check ou ge resht of the town and hopefully find a weapons shop. I need more bulletsh and shome oil for my gun."

"Oh yeah, I should also stock up on some cigarettes and maybe a cigar or 12." I spat out the toothpaste and poured some water into the glass I brought with me

"Is that all you ever think about?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No now get out of the shower before I make you." He growled but stepped out of the shower. I handed him a towel and he left the room leaving me to finally get some peace and quiet.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Why do you keep wearing my clothes?" he shrugged

"Just keeping up with my image that's all. No way I'd ever wear this ridiculous outfit on my own free will, no thank you"

"Well then take em off Uzumaki, we can switch roles." because I simply will not wear those sorry excuses for sneakers for another minute. I mean seriously when last did those shoes get washed. Disgusting

"Hey they are my shoes and I choose to keep them this way princess." I turned to stare at him, my eyes wide open

"You were staring at my shoes like they were the owners of _Konoha Times._" which reminds me, I should check if they have removed that insulting photo of me yet. " and chicks dig guys with dirty sneakers." I slowly shook my head before moving to get dressed.

"...you are an idiot."

"And you are dating this idiot, what does that say about you?" I smirked

"That I am actually capable of pity."

"Haha very funny Uchiha"

"I know."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Hey look a fair!" I turned to where uzumaki was pointing to see...a fair.

"Let me guess, you want to go there don't you?" I said but my words fell on deaf ears as Uzumaki was already power walking towards to entrance gate. Sometimes Uzumaki reminded me of someone I used to know, I think his name was luffy**(1)** or something like that. Oh well.

I finally caught up to Uzumaki inside the entrance and we walked towards the game section. It was a rather impressive setup with games for all ages and prizes of all shapes and sizes. I turned to stare at a shooting game in which you had to shoot a bunch of moving ducks. There was a man about my age who was loading the bullets into the rifle, a woman who I presumed was his girlfriend was standing behind him and cheering him on. He aimed and simultaneously shot at all the ducks...and missed all but one.

He then chose a small stuffed rabbit from the bottom shelf and gave it to her, she smiled and kissed him on the cheek before they both walked away. The sight was, dare I say it..sweet.

"Hey pumpkin bear you want me to win you a stuffed animal too?" and the moron just had to run the moment

"Screw you."

"I'll take that as a yes, don't worry I will get you one from the top shelf believe it!" some people turned to stare at us and my eye twitched

"Never _ever_ say that phrase again you me?"

"Never say what, believe it?" I growled

"..."

"Ok! Hey you let me have a go at that." he said as he slammed some money onto the stalls counter. The man behind it took the money and sneered at him

"Great another show-off, you probably won't even hit one of the ducks." my eye twitched some more and my hand curled into a fist while Uzumaki glared at the man

"Hey buddy you wanna start sumthi-Hey!" I grabbed the rifle and pushed him out of the way.

"You move out of my way or I will shoot through you." the man gulped and scrambled away to start the machine. I quickly loaded the bullets in and counted to three, one..two..three. All the ducks were down in less that 5 seconds and I was feeling less homocidal.

I picked a red and black stuffed snake and handed it to Uzumaki who flipped the man off before following me.

"Thanks for the gift sugar plum believe it!"

"I will kill you in your sleep."

"Sheesh what's up with you today" I sighed

"I just don't like fairs."

"Why not? Don't tell me you're claustrophobic because I know that's not true." what the? When did he figure tha-oh the Bazuka town.

"No moron, when I was about your mental age I got lost while I was with my family..And I was only found when the fair closed." well that sums it up

"I am going to ignore the fact that you just insulted my mentality rate and why do I feel like you're hiding something from me?" probably because I am but he does not have to know that

"Hn whether I am hiding something from you or not is none of your business _love_ now try not to give me a reason to go back to the hotel and grab my katana blade." I said careful not to speak to loudly.

"Wait...you mean you don't have it with you? I mean I have both of mine" I scowled

"idiot how on earth am I supposed to carry around a sword in public?" he shrugged

"I don't know, just stuff it down your pants or something." I looked up at the sky and silently prayed that I will not be overcome by the urge to murder the man next to me. After I finished my silent prayer I finally realised that we had stopped in front the food section of the fair. I turned to see Uzumaki already seated in one of the tables and went to join him.

"You do realise that you actually have to get up and go buy the food right?" I asked just out of pure curiosity and he sighed

"I really don't know what to eat I mean i've already scouted out the place and there are absolutely no ramen stands, none!" he exclaimed and I couldn't help but chuckle lightly at his antics

"You know there are other food that are not ramen right?" he groaned and slammed his head onto the table

"I know but ramen dude, ramen!" I slowly shook my head

"When last did you smoke?"

"Last night at the restaurant, why?" I got up from my spot and started walking towards the food stands

"I am going to go get us something to eat so you have about 7 minutes, use them wisely." he smiled and shoved an unlit cigarette in his mouth

"Later princess."

"Sure moron." and as I walked away I couldn't help but smile

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"That will be 4500 yen sir." my eyes widened

"What 4500 for just two bento boxes? What are they made of gold or something?" the man behind the counter fixed his name tag and glared at me.

"Well if its too expensive then go buy somewhere else!" I glared back

"Gladly." but as I walked away I heard a very unsettling thing being said to the back of my head

"Filthy pale ass gay prostitute" my eyes widened slightly in astonishment and anger. Now I do not mind the pale ass comment because believe it or not many people who weren't fangirls called me that in elementary school and its not like I avoid the sun and put on ridiculous amounts of sunscreen each day. The other comment though...

"..what did you just call me?" the man folded his arms and smirked

"You heard me." I scowled before smirking as well, time for my favourite hobby of all time..messing with people's minds

"Oh and what makes you think that I am a prostitute and a gay one in fact?" the man's smirk widened

"Well its simple, your hair is baby blue and no real man would ever dye their hair blue. Secondly you look like a very high maintenance young man but I have never seen you anywhere in the local media industry so you must either be a prostitute or a call boy." I nodded in understanding and he sneered

"First of all this is not my real hair, its a wig I am currently wearing because of a bet I lost so that rules out your gay evidence. Secondly you say that you have never seen me in the local media industry but has it occurred to you that may be a tourist? Which I am by the way. Thirdly you should stop insulting random people whom you don't know while you can't even own a restaurant loser." I watched as the man turned red then purple in sheer anger. Checkmate.

"You bastard son a bitch-"

"I assure you that my parents were married and my mother was a human being thank you very much chi-chi"

"Its _Chichou you imbecile!"_

"So? Am I supposed to care?" I swear I saw the vain on his forehead pop from pulsing to much.

"Go back to the hole you came from boy!"

"I'm afraid I can't , my mother is currently...unreachable." the man gaped and for a moment I thought he was suffering from a heart attack

"Hey chi-chi are you still alive?"

"..."

"Um hello?"

"..."

"Chi-chi?"

"..." I then decided to take matters into my own hands and started slapping him lightly

"Hey!" slap

"Old man." slap

"Chi-chi" slap

"Wake up!" punch

"Hn forget this i'm outta here, peace." I turned to walk away when

"_YOU SICK, SICK YOUNG MAN! I AM GOING TO CHOP YOU INTO A MILLION PIECES!_" He screamed and I turned to look at him and wished I hadn't. I really need to learn the meaning of the word 'slapping **lightly**'. Said mans face was now swollen to the size of a small watermelon and he was now sporting a bloody nose.

"Hey now chi-chi look i'm really-"

"ITS CHICHOU! CHICHOU! CAN'T YOU READ?!"

"Whatever chi-chi anyway I was just saying _shit_!" I hissed as I dodged a butcher knife that was thrown at me. I contemplated pulling out my gun and putting a hole in him for that little stunt but one look at his face due to my artwork and I decided that the poor guy had it tough already. So with as much dignity as I could muster I sprinted towards Uzumaki, the man and what I presume was the fair security chasing me. I grabbed his hand and carried on towards the fair exit, Chi-chi and his friends hot on our heels.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Why'd you hit the poor guy so hard?"

"...he was annoying but at least I didn't kill him for throwing a stupid knife at me."

"Ah touché, turn left now." I complied and we ran into what looked like a giant maze.

"Ok go right now..left...left...right, no my right!...if we keep going straight we should reach the exit soon" and as if on cue the exit gates of the fair appeared and we ran right past them and continued running for about 10 minutes before stopping.

"Heh, that was fun right princess?"

"...moron, aren't you hungry?."

"Oh yeah! Hey look a ramen stand." I sighed and followed him into the small restaurant for once not complaining about anything until.

"Hey Uzumaki, where is that prize I won at the fair?"

"Hmm? Oh I sold it to this guy for 400 yen."

"Where's the money?"

"In my pocket."

"...we still need to restock on some stuff for the road tomorrow."

"Oh yeah but i'm tired and I still want to go to the club so let's do it tomorrow morning." he said as he paid for the meal and we headed back to the hotel

"Hn you still want to go to that stupid club."

"Yep and you are coming with me."

"No I am not."

"I can always go back to the fair, i'm sure that guy you beat up would love to know where you are staying."

"And what makes you think I won't just shoot him?

"Because you know that if you were that man you would have done the same thing, except for the screaming part."

"..."

"I will take that as a yes. Now lighten up its going to be fun"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This is not fun. I am currently sitting at the bar of club BG while Uzumaki is busy dancing with some brunette woman.

"Hey man, refill?" the bartender asks and I turn around to see a very familiar face.

"Mini me?" the man blinks before his eyes widen and he puts on that oh so famous fake smile

"Oh its you prissy one! Where is dumb blonde?" my eye twitched before I glared at him

"Shouldn't you be with Tayuya and friends?" he smiled again before pouring me another glass of whiskey

"They went to little Reds uncle's funeral funeral and I wasn't invited, can you believe that?" I stared at him blankly

"Wow they didn't invite _you_ to a _funeral_? How is that possible?"

"I know right!?"

"I was being sarcastic."

"I wasn't"

"Die."

"Not yet so where is dumb blonde?" I motioned towards the dance floor without looking

"The redhead dancing with that brunette girl in the green dress."

"Well I see the girl but I don't see any redhead guys unless he's cross-dressing?" I quickly turned towards the dance floor and saw the brunette girl being pulled by this other guy.

"Hey mini me, be right back. Don't go anywhere." he smiled

"Of course prissy one." I shook my head before rushing upstairs where I caught a glimpse of the girl and followed them until they entered through a set of double doors, I felt for my gun and walked in after them, hiding behind some plants. What I saw would stay in my memory for a whole week

Uzumaki was sitting on a black leather couch along with the brunette girl, across them was a blonde men in a white suit who was surrounded by bodyguards. There were a couple other people in the room but that is not what nearly traumatised me. I looked up and had to stop myself from gasping, there on the ceiling of the room was a glass container with the largest spider I have ever seen in my life, it was about 3 meters in height and 2 meters wide and judging by the design on its back I was pretty sure it was the infamous black widow spider...that had been exposed to radioactive waste.

"So mister-" the the man started but Uzumaki held up his hand.

"Please just call me Karin, now why have you brought me here?" the man snorted before hardening his gaze at Uzumaki, I reached for my gun.

"Mr Karin are you aware that you have been dancing with one of my wives? Now I will assume that you had more...intimate intentions with her so I have brought you here to collect my payment." Uzumaki chuckled

"Well first of all mister?"

"Sheen"

"Yes mister Sheen I am aware that I was dancing with this woman but sadly I am already in a relationship, with a man I might add." Mr Sheens eyes widened and he coughed for a while before returning his gaze to Uzumaki

"And how do I know that you are not just making this up, you don't look gay therefore I must conclude that even if you are in a relationship its either with a transvestite or a woman, am I not correct mister Karin?"

"Well he-"

"I am sorry to interrupt this meeting but I do not appreciate being called either of those." there were several yelps and shrieks of surprise and one comment of 'took ya long enough Hinata' as the bodyguards pulled out their guns I pointed mine to the glass container. I used my other hand to cover up my yawn

"Alright you know the drill, drop your weapons or I will shoot at your bug." Mr Sheen smirked

"Very well drop your weapons boys and sir you do realise that if that spider gets free we will all die right." I shrugged

"Correction, you will all die. I on the other hand am immune to any type of natural poison so really I have nothing to lose." Uzumaki glared

"Thanks a lot _honey_. I feel so loved" I turned to stare at him and he winked...oh

"You're welcome _darling_."

"Ahem"

" I mean really? Did you just come all the way here just to insult me _sugarplum_?"

"As a matter of fact I did _sweetheart_."

"Ahem."

"You know what I don't need your stupid help so go back to the club _babe._"

"I would if I could but I am currently too busy saving your incompetent ass as usual _love_."

"AHEM!"

"Oh and exactly when did I ever ask for your help _Candy bear?_"

"You know what screw this, time to die _sweetness"_

"_AHEM!"_

"WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THE AHEM'S ALREADY!" _BAM!_ And that was the end of Mr Sheen. we both the shot of the remaining body guards which was actually very easy since most of them did not even know how to fire the damn thing and turned towards everyone else.

"If you value your life you will not call anyone or say anything okay?" Uzumaki said as I shot at the surveillance camera before we both left the room,heads held high.

"Hey Uchiha?"

"Hmm?"

"We need a theme song."

"...I know."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Ah prissy one and dumb blonde you should get out of here, someone called the police and there are plenty of people who saw you guys heading up those stairs." we both decided to ignore the nicknames in favour of getting out of the club

"Hn good job mini me."

"Likewise prissy one."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"So I guess we should pack, where to next?"

"London."

"Oh cool...wait what?"

"I'm tired of wearing disguises all the time."

"Well I guess so, hey Uchiha!" I turned only for him to mash his lips onto mine. I was stunned for a second before I gradually began responding to the kiss, I gently swiped my tongue against his lips as he slowly opened them and my tongue explored the inner cavern of his mouth, the ever so present taste of smoke, mouthwash and a hint of miso ramen and while my mouth was busy my hands quickly began unbuttoning his shirt as he did the same to me and as we separated for air while now on my bed Uzumaki re attached his mouth onto my neck and began sucking on the pulse and an involuntary moan escaped my mouth. I growled and flipped us over so that I was on top and I slowly began rocking back and fourth onto his lap, our clothed erections rubbing sensually against each other and by now the only sounds that were coming from the room were a pair of moans and the slight creaking of the bed. I then attached my lips onto his neck while my hands worked on undoing his pants...

[{END FLASHBACK]

"Wait so like you really didn't know who it was?" Kiba asked astonished. Sasuke nodded

"Yes so imagine the shock we wake up to when we realise who we had just killed."

"Must have been hectic."

"Oh no child, just one more reason to hop onto the earliest plane to London."

"But even in London you guys just couldn't stay out of trouble." Sasuke laughed softly

"I guess."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: woohoo! I actually kept my promise (sort of) hopefully I have stayed true to my rating which is T, if anyone thinks the scene at the end might have not been T rated then please say so but I will not stand for any type of flaming! Don't like Don't read! Anyway thanks and see ya'll next monday**

**(1) **_hehe One Piece_


	9. london 1

_**LONDON part l**_

I woke up. And immediately my guard was up, why wasn't the shower running? As I was about to reach for my gun I finally realised that there was a second presence on my bed. I turned to find Uzumaki snoring softly next to me, one hand gripping my waist tightly. I then noticed our state of undress and it all came rushing back to me. I, the great Uchiha Sasuke, a very gorgeous and charming _male _had slept with Uzumaki Naruto, an equally charming but stupid _male _in a hotel room just minutes after committing an accidental _murder _in a town we barely even know. You can't get anymore heartless than that I tell you.

"Hey princess stop scowling, you will get wrinkles." and it appears that said male has also woken up.

"Hn don't worry about me pheasant, I know what i'm doing."

"Still as prissy as always huh Uchiha?" I glared at him before sighing, I really wasn't in the mood to argue with the moron right now.

"Idiot get up and let go of me we still need to book the tickets to london and find a way out of this hotel without being _mphhh" _I was silenced as Uzumaki lay a brief kiss on my lips, making my glare harden

"Stop worrying princess if worst comes to worst I still have some explosives stashed in my bag, we got this now shut up and go back to sleep." I turned to look at the clock and realised that it was only 5am. Shrugging I gave Uzumaki a quick kick in the stomach before settling back down. I'll deal with it all later.

"Aw man, and here I thought that I was about to get a free show." my eyes widened and I felt Uzumaki stiffen, I knew that voice very well. I was about to voice my thoughts but Uzumaki beat me to the punch

"...Sai what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well I had originally come to tell you something of utmost importance but instead I walked in to find you two in a very lovely position, if only I had followed you guys home yesterday night." he said, disappointment and sadness clearly visible on his face and in his tone. We both decided to seat up, careful to pull the covers over our mid sections as we did so. I sighed

"How did you even-you know what I don't even want to know so what did you want to tell us mini me?" he smiled before walking over to the tv set and turning it on.

"_It is said that Shinji Sheen, the towns mayor was found dead along with several of his bodyguards in club BG. Witnesses say that a blue haired man in a ponytail and a red haired male were seen climbing up the stairs to the mayors private office and climbing down later on after several shots were vaguely heard due to the music being too loud. The other occupants that were in the room have confirmed that it was those two men who cold bloodedly butchered our dear mayor. The killers names have been said to be Hinata and Karin. If you have any information regarding these two monste- I mean men please contact the police immediately, let us work together to bring these killers to justice! This is Mai Ichiyomi reporting live from the scene of the crime."_. The television was then switched off and Uzumaki groaned

"Great princess you just had to kill the mayor didn't you?" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes

"Hn whatever, they made it sound like I cut out his intestines or something but all the more reason to get the hell out of this town quickly because I know of a certain old man who has probably already called every level of authority he could, poor chi-chi."

Halfway across the town an old man stopped his joyous victory dance to glare at the wall "Its chichou! You dumbass killer CHI-CHOU!"

Sai smiled

"Hyuuga mouse is not very happy about you guys using her name as an alias by the way." I nodded solemnly

"I understand, tell her I deeply apologise for using her name." both Uzumaki and Sai gaped at me, eyes widened

"For real?" I shrugged

"Yes, next time I will just use Neji instead...or Tayuya." Uzumaki slowly shook his head

"I knew it was to sincere to be true." I smirked at him before turning to Sai

"Well thanks for the heads up mini me now get out before I shoot you for trespassing." he smiled again before turning to walk towards the door.

"No problem, I look forward to seeing you again prissy one dumb blond, goodbye and good luck."

"Die" we both said and he laughed softly

"Not yet pretties, not yet." and the door shut with a soft click.

"I really don't like him sometimes."

"That makes one of you."

"You actually like the freak?"

"No."

"...wanna shower together?" I turned to glare at his now grinning face

"No."

"What! Why?"

"Because I said so moron"

"Oh come on! We really need to get going and we should spare as much time as we can plus I can give you a back scrub?"

"Tch as if I would allow your hands anywhere near my body."

"Well you weren't resisting these hands last night now were you _babe_"

"...i'm going to drown you."

"Does that mean we can shower together?"

"No."

"Then how on earth are you going to drown me without water?" I grinned and grabbed a pillow from the floor.

"Who said anything anything about water?"

"Wait Uchiha I was just kidding I really don-mmphh _MMMPHH_!"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Are you sure this will work?" Uzumaki asked as we walked into the elevator with all our belongings.

"Yes moron I am sure now stop fidgeting already."

"Well easy for you to say, you didn't just almost pass out from suffocation now did you?"

"And as an apology I showered with you now stop whining like a child or your body will not be walking out of this elevator with its soul intact." he grinned

"Oh please Uchiha, how many times have you tried to kill me already?" before I could respond the elevator opened and we walked out, since there was nobody at the reception desk due to it being 5:37am we just left the room key on the desk before walking towards the car."

"I'll drive and you organise the tickets."

"Hn but pass by a convenience store."

"Roger. So how on earth are we going to board a plane as wanted criminals?"

"We let the police clear out the way."

"Ah, smart plan."

"I know."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Captain Asuma! We just got an urgent mail from Ito town, it says that two men have murdered their mayor and they are nowhere to be seen now!" Asuma turned towards Sargent Ino and he closed his eyes.

"Gather everyone here A.S.A.P" she nodded before sprinting away and returning with everyone in less than five minutes.

"I hope Ino has briefed you about the current situation and by the looks of it Naruto and Uchiha have struck again. The entire gathering gasped

"But Asuma, they couldn't have I mean do these men look anything like them?" Kurenai said as she gestured towards the photo of the two men which everyone now had a copy of. The gathering nodded and made sounds of agreement before Iruka spoke up.

"Wait..Shikamaru pull up the pictures of the two men." Shikamaru sighed but did as was told.

"Good now replace the red hair with Naruto's hair style and do the same with the eyes. Great now do the same with the blue haired man but with Uchiha's hair and eyes. Done." Shikamaru then turned his laptop towards the group.

"Ohmigosh!"

"Its them."

"I can't believe I couldn't see it!" the comments grew louder and louder until Asuma whistled and silenced the room.

"Shino call the Ito airport and tell them that should they see a man with red hair travelling with a blue haired man they should apprehend them and then contact me." Shino nodded before doing as he was told.

Not even three minutes later the phone rang and Asuma answered it, putting in on loudspeaker.

_"Speak"_

"Is this the manager of Ito airport?"

_"Yes speak."_

"This is Sarutobi Asuma from the Konoha police division, main branch. I need you to apprehend those two men my fellow colleague has informed you about."

_"Why?"_

"Because those two men are currently responsible for more than 30 counts of murder including your mayor sir so we beg of you not to let them board a flight."

_"Hmm I will think about it but first have you done what I have asked of you?" _

Asuma stared at the phone in confusion. "What have you asked me to do sir?"

_"The picture you fool. Has it been removed yet?" _Asuma blinked and then it hit him

"You! What have you done to the manager? I swear when I find you I will-"

_"Relax I didn't do anything infact, you should be asking yourself that exact question."_

"What are you talking about Uchiha and how were you just let it by the manager?"

_"Well I have you to thank for that Asuma, both you and Umino by the way Uzumaki says hi."_

"What do you mean?"

_"You see it turns out that when Uzumaki went rogue you forgot to erase his name off your files plus the fact that he still has his badge so all we had to do was tell the manager that we were awaiting an important call regarding the two men who oh so ruthlessly murdered their mayor and he first did a check on Uzumaki and found him legit hence me sitting here. Anyway my plane is about to leave so it was nice speaking to you, peace."_

Asuma as well as the others gaped as Uchiha dropped the phone.

"Sikamaru! Check their flight destination now!" Shikamaru nodded as he typed furiously but stopped after a few moments.

"Bad news, it turns out they booked all the flights that leave at 7:00am which are all going to different destinations. Beijing, Australia, South Africa, London, New York and Argentina." the group seethed and Iruka slammed his fist onto the table. Asuma took a deep breath and released a pained smile.

"Hey at least it can't get any worse that this."

"It gets worse." Shikamaru said as he kept on typing "turns out Uchiha used our departments money to buy the tickets. We now owe the airport 3000000 yen."

"_FUCK!"_

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: yeah this chapter was quite uneventfull ey? Just think of it as a filler chapter! Anyway so yeah next its off to london! Lets see how much trouble these two monsters get into in the next chapter of **_**POETIC MURDER!**_

**(1) **_I just realised how stupid and out of character Sasuke would sound while saying "_**mini me**_" but then I realised that they are currently in japan and "_**chiisana boku**_" sounds so much better, so while in other countries I might have him say "chiisana boku" instead of "mini me" since they would be speaking english then and mini me just sounds soooo wrong._


	10. London part 2

_London 2_

"You do know how to speak English right Uzumaki?" I asked and he sneered at me

"Nooooo, because I would be as stupid as to go to London without knowing a single english word right princess?" I scowled before moving towards my seat which was next to a formally dressed young woman, Uzumaki sat on the aisle seat while I sat in the middle.

The lady looked at me before smiling.

"Hello there, I'm Annabel Jenkins and who might you be?" I nodded at her and attempted to smile back.

"Uchiha Sasuke, pleasure to meet you." I briefly heard Uzumaki snort and turned to glare at him. The lady also turned to smile at him and extended her hand to him

"Hi there! I almost didn't see you? How are you?" Uzumaki glared at the woman's hand and I mentally scowled, is he really still mad about the english comment? Drama queen.

"You will have to excuse him but he does not speak english." the lady smiled in understanding

"Well then could you please greet him for me? I think my regular greeting might have upset him" I nodded and turned to Uzumaki.

"_She says stop being a bitch."_

_"Screw you Uchiha." _ he then turned towards the woman and smiled

"Oh no Mis-" I quickly elbowed him before he could complete his sentence

"_Don't, it could be our ace if she thinks that you can't understand anything we are saying." he scowled_

_"What ace? She's just another passenger what could you possibly gain from her?" _

_"Well moron if you haven't noticed her name is Annabel Jenkins, the daughter of Joseph Junior Jenkins" _

_"Yeah so?" _

_"Who is a the manager of the largest bank in england!" _

_"...so you wanna rob a bank" _

_"Exactly." _

_"...cool." _I then turned towards Annabel and smiled at her

_"Stop doing that, you look constipated." _I quickly shot a glare to the blond annoyance before focusing my attention on Annabel who was looking very confused.

"Oh I was just explaining that extending a hand is your way of greeting and not a symbol of war." Uzumaki growled behind me and suddenly I was feeling very happy. Annabel gasped slightly.

"Oh dear I am terribly sorry for that. How does one apologise in Japanese?"

"You say Watashi wa hijō ni orokana joseidesu" Annabel thanked me before turning to Uzumaki who was barely trying to conceal his laughter

"Watashi wa hijō ni orokana joseidesu" (_I am a very stupid woman.) _Uzumaki smiled at her and she smiled back

_"You are a horrible, horrible person"_

_"Thank you, I try." _

_"It wasn't a,compliment."_

_"Never said it was." _

_"Piss off. And move your hands I need to sleep." _I looked up at the ceiling and raised my hands before turning to Annabel

"So where are you headed?" I asked as Uzumaki laid his head on my lap and my hands found a place to rest in that yellow mop he calls hair. Annabel's eyes widened at the spectacle but didn't voice her thoughts, instead she turned towards me and began answering my question

"Oh I am headed back to London, I just came here for a business meeting." I smirked as a strategy quickly formed in my head.

"Business you say..."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

_**"We have arrived in Heathrow international airport, if you could all please exit in an orderly fashion and remember all your belongings should not remain on the plane as the airport will not be responsible if they are to be lost or stolen. Have a good day and welcome to London." **_

"Well it was nice talking to you miss Jenkins, I do hope we meet again soon."

"Of course we will, you have my contact number and remember if you need any help please do not hesitate okay?" I nodded and she smiled as she walked past us.

I then looked at the Uzumaki who hadn't moved an inch since he fell a sleep some time ago. Fighting the urge to grin I softly grabbed his hair and forcefully tried to rip it out of his skull.

_"ITAI! _what is wrong with you?" he screamed as he elbowed me in the gut.

"First of all ow, and secondly why are you speaking english? What if miss Jenkins was still here?" he scowled before standing up, grabbing his carry-on bag and making his way down the aisle, I followed right behind him

"I thought by now you would realise that I am not as stupid as I look Uchiha, I woke up a long time ago." he said softly and I suddenly felt guilt washing over me as I made my way to the airport bank to convert my notes. What to do now, I guess I could apologise...but I won't because Uchiha Sasuke does NOT apologise for anything. But then I am dealing with a highly dangerous person who could as well just kill me right in front of all these people, i've never really been confident in Uzumaki's mental state which brings me back to the original question, what to do now?

"You could buy me ramen, an not that instant crap and stop insulting my sanity before I decide to prove you right. Real ramen from a ramen store by the way." actually that's not a very bad idea now that I think of it. Uzumaki glared as the cashier handed me a few stacks of pounds.

"What do you mean its not a bad idea? Its a great idea! And please don't flatter yourself princess." oh great, even in my thoughts I can still hear his annoying voice.

"That's because you're thinking out loud, and you call me a moron." wait what?

"Yeah so do you want to get a cab or do you just want to stand there and look pretty?"

"What do you think moron?" I scowled and he smiled sweetly, immediately alarm bells started ringing in my head.

"Well if you say so sweetheart, just remember if a stranger touches you inappropriately you say no and tell a policeman or an old lady okay?" I pushed past him and walked towards a waiting cab while blondie smirked and followed.

"Can you take us to The Lanesborough hotel." both Uzumaki's and the drivers eyes widened. The drive then nodded hastily

"Right away sir." and promptly pulled out of the driveway.

_"If I may ask princess, where did you get the money to book The Lanesborough? Last time I checked we were still GOING to rob a bank!" _I sighed

_"Have you forgotten about the money we had before?"_

_"Yeah but didn't you use that on all the plane tickets?"_

_"Tch hell no. As if I would ever waste my precious money on something un beneficial to my comfort,I used the police departments money."_

"NANI!?" (_what!?)_

"Uhm excuse me sirs but you have arrived at your destination." Uzumaki sneered at me before turning towards the driver

"Thank you, how much will it be?"

"£39 please." I climbed out of the cab as Uzumaki reached into his pocket. I then pulled out our bags from the now open trunk and we both walked towards the entrance where a bell boy offered to carry our bags. I if course had no problem with that but mr. I-can-do-it-myself declined the offer before I could get a word in. If it wasn't for the fact that the blond hasn't had a cigarette since before we left Japan I would have already broken the morons nose.

"Welcome to the Lanesborough hotel, do you have a reservation?" the man opposite the counter asked and Uzumaki grinned at him

"Yes I believe they are under Mister S. Uchiha?" the man nodded before typing the necessary words on the monitor

"Ah yes one royal suite for Mr S. Uchiha for two nights and three days correct?" Uzumaki nodded and the man smiled

"Well then I believe a congratulations is in order." both Uzumaki and I raised our eyebrows in perfect unison.

"Congratulations for what exactly?" the man gave us a look that clearly stated that he was very much doubting our sanity at the moment.

"Well Mr. Uchiha you clearly stated on the booking that you and a Mr N. Uzumaki were engaged and that the suite should be equipped with a bottle of our best champagne, a bowl of chocolate strawberries and...a packet of condoms." the man finished, his face not betraying any of his emotions as if he deals with this kind of thing everyday .

"WHAT!?"

"DAMMIT SAI!" I growled and Uzumaki turned to me, a glare firmly in place.

_"You let SAI book the hotel?"_

_"Well excuse me if I couldn't afford to book it myself since I was too busy saving our asses!"_

_"I understand that but Sai? Of all the people you chose Sai to make a booking while being aware that the man has many screws loose in that head of his?"_

_"Tch look who's talking" _

_"What is tha-"_

_"Who else was I supposed to ask huh? Because last time I checked the only other person we knew there was old man Chi-Chi, was I supposed to ask him?" _Uzumaki sighed before chuckling nervously

_"Oh yeah, sorry I guess I got a bit carried away with that."_ I sighed and slowly shook my head

_"Yeah whatever, its not your fault you haven't been able to smoke since yesterday."_

_"Uh huh so we cool right my lovely fiancée ?"_

_"Don't push it."_ with that Uzumaki turned back to the man and I dully noted that almost everyone's eyes were on us. Not that I could blame them, its not everyday you see two asian men arguing so loudly...stupid stereotypes.

"Uhm Mister?"

"Conor."

"Yeah it seems there was a bit of a mix up with the booking so is it possible to change rooms?" the man typed something on the computer

"I am sorry but as of 4 hours ago we are fully booked, you should have changed the booking earlier when we sent you an email to confirm it."

"What? But its not my fault his perverted new best friend ha-OW!" the blonde yelped as I stomped on his foot, hard.

_"Quiet fool! You are attracting too much attention!"_ I then turned to the man and bowed in apology

"I apologise for my accomplices behaviour, we will be taking the suite but we will be heading out in about half an hour and I ask that you please send someone remove the...accessories while we are gone, we will pay for them of course." the man nodded in understanding

"Of course, here is your card and I apologise for the congratulations earlier."

"No problem it wasn't your fault." I took the keys and dragged a silently fuming Uzumaki towards the elevators.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We finally reached room 522 and as soon as our bags hit the ground I turned to look at the place. It was one big room to the front there was a door which I believe lead to the bathroom. There were four black leather sofas, three single and one triple. There was a deep brown coffee table in the middle which had a teapot and two teacups along with the necessities to make tea and coffee minus the water. To the left there was a large king sized bed which had crimson sheets and black pillows, the bed was decorated with red rose petals which formed a heart and inside the heart was a bottle of champagne, a packet of condoms and a bowl of chocolate strawberries. In front of it was a big flat screen tv who's remote was on the headboard next to the lamp. To the right there was a mini fridge with a telephone placed right next to it on the wall.

"Aww look princess, isn't it just so romantic?" Uzumaki said in an overly sweet voice and we both shuddered, romance was definitely NOT for us.

"Damn you mini me." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"I'm going to take a shower." with that said I gathered my toiletry bag and headed towards the bathroom while Uzumaki took out his cigarette pack and headed towards the balcony.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"So where to now?" Uzumaki who was now dressed in a light blue polo shirt, blue faded jeans and white soviet sneakers. I on the other hand wore a black button up shirt, navy blue jeans and black converse sneakers. Dare I say...I looked absolutely dashing.

"Lets go sight seeing I mean we are in London after all." he nodded before we made our way down, nodding at the receptionist as we left.

As soon as we left the hotel I hailed a taxi and we both climbed in

"Take us to the London's eye please." Uzumaki stated and I smirked. The driver nodded.

"Right away sirs"

_"London's eye, 't you afraid of heights?_

_"No I am not afraid of heights, I just don't like em and what kind of mook goes to London and doesn't visit the London's eye?" _

_"I see you're in a better mood."_

_"Of course I am! I just remembered that you owe me ramen?"_

_"For what?" _

_"You insulted my intelligence back at the airport."_

_"What? I do that all the time! What makes the airport insult so special?"_

_"Beats me, you were the one who wanted to apologise." _

_"Fat load of good that did me."_

_"Hey cheer up! Look I can see it already!"_

_"You were standing on the balcony of the fifth floor and you're only seeing it now? Anyway i'm not going there."_

_"What? Why not?" _

_"I would be wasting 30 whole minutes sitting in closed space with people I don't even want to know who might try to start a conversation. Besides I'd rather go to the Art museum instead."_

_"Oh come on princess! Don't be a prude it'll be fun."_

_"No."_

_"Look you don't even have to speak to anyone since I booked a Cupid's capsule so you could uhm I dunno plan world domination or something and then after we can go to you stupid museum." _

_"Wait what?"_

_"Uhm I meant your Art museum?"_

_"No moron you said something about cupid."_

_"I booked a cupid's capsule, its a capsule that is only for two people"_

_"And what exactly does cupid have to do with that?" _

_"Because when two people usually book a capsule together, they are usually planning something romantic otherwise they would just book a standard capsule which I would have booked but then I thought of my loving caring princess and his apparent dislike of other human beings, and you call me a moron." _

_"So you don't mind booking a cupid's capsule and yet you went ballistic when Sai booked a honeymoon suite?"_

_"The capsule is for people in a relationship, a honeymoon suite is for people who have already been married so unless you get on one knee and propose with a bowl of ramen I will continue to go ballistic. So will you come with?" _I resisted the urge to facepalm once more before sighing in defeat

_"Hn fine, i'm only going so I can locate my 'stupid museum."_

"Sirs we have arrived. It will be £25." the driver alerted and I paid him as we left the cab. Just great.

"hey we made it! Now to go get our tickets."

"Hn." the blonde ignored me in favour of trying to locate the priority desk and I used the time to begin planning the robbery. I am not going to fool myself and say that it will be like anything we have ever done before. Its a national bank so there will be nothing less than maximum security but that's where miss Jenkins comes in, with her father being the manager of the bank she might know a lot about the bank although I must bring the fact that she might not know anything at all. If that ends up being the case then it will prove troubling for us but then I will have no choice but to seek help from...him.

"Hey Princess."

"What?"

"What are you thinking about I mean you just went from calculating to loathing in three seconds flat."

"...just thinking about a certain insect I happen to know." the blonde shrugged before his face brightened up as he showed me the tickets in his hand.

"Now come on, we have to go now." I sighed but followed him nonetheless. We arrived there and the lady opposite the counter gave Uzumaki the tickets and a young brunette man approached us

"Good afternoon gentlemen my name is Henry and I will be your host for today if you could please follow me. He then turned and walked towards the entrance. I turned to glare at my accomplice

"_Excuse me if i'm wrong but didn't you say that we would be uh what's the word for it...um ALONE?"_

_"Stop being a prude Uchiha! You can still daydream all you like...just pretend you're a mute." _he grinned as he relayed the same thing I said to him at the plane. I fixed one last glare to him before we walked through the fast track entrance towards our waiting capsule.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Biggest waste of time I have ever encountered I tell you!" I seethed as we left the London's eye while Uzumaki chuckled

"Oh come on Uchiha even you have to admit it was a bit entertaining and to be quite fair he did make a valid point."

"What point?"

"You do know martial arts so why are you so upset?"

"Did you forget what I said before we entered the damn capsule? I said I don't want to have a conversation with random people, did I not say that?"

"He was a host, its his job to make conversations to you know, lighten the mood since you insisted on glaring at everything in sight!"

"I was _not_ glaring."

"Whatever you say princess, I actually enjoyed the ride, he's a funny guy plus he also understands the importance of ramen unlike you."

"And that's the main reason I absolutely loathed the last thirty minutes you two just wouldn't shut up, not even for a moment!"

"Cheer up, look a fancy restaurant!" he pointed to a restaurant with the name _Azzurro_ which was in neon blue colours since the sun had already set. I sighed but walked towards the restaurant where the waiter greeted us and showed us to a table for two. He left right after presenting us with the menu

"So I reckon we might still have time to go to that Art museum if we eat fast." he said and I waved off the suggestion.

"Hn forget it I'm tired and annoyed. After this we are going back to the hotel the museum can wait until tomorrow." the blond nodded but I could see slight despair at the fact that we were still going to the museum, tch moron.

"But really man an art museum? You could go absolutely anywhere in London and you choose a museum? What is wrong with you?" my answer was interrupted by the waiter who came back to ask for our orders.

"I will have some Alfredo pasta with a glass of red wine." I said and the waiter nodded before turning towards Uzumaki

"I will have some jalapeño chicken with a bottle of coke." the waiter nodded again before he went on his way.

"Spicy chicken and coke, really?" he raised his eyebrows in question and I just shook my head in disappointment, after all these days with me and he still hasn't got a smidgen of class in his being. Its quite sad really.

"You know insulting him every chance you get is probably the reason he and I quote 'hasn't got a smidgen of class in his being'." my eyes widened as I glared at the now grinning Uzumaki

"How dare you blame your lack of class on me, it's not my fault you were raised by barbarians and how did know my thoughts, am I that easy to read?" he chuckled lightly

"You were thinking out loud again and I take high offence to that. But that aside _let's talk about the plan" _my eyebrow raised as he switched back to japanese, what plan was he...oh

_"Well its just an outline but tomorrow I will meet up with Miss Jenkins and see what I can gather from her, during the plane ride I learned of her love for art hence the art museum." _the blond visibly brightened when he learned that he would not have to go to the art museum

_"Ah good, while you do that I will be visiting an old friend of mine who used to work in the bank. _As he spoke the waiter came back with our food and drinks

_"Used to?"_

_"Yeah she quit, said being around all that money and not being able to have it was killing her on the inside." _I sighed

_"Only your friends would come up with such a reason to quit a job." _Uzumaki slightly glared at me as he took a gulp of his soda

_"Har har, we have a bigger problem though. We need the equipment to get into the bank and stuff which we don't have." _

_"I know a prick who can help us out with that." _

_"A prick?"_

_"Long story short, I don't like him." _I grimaced at the very thought of the man

_"What? That's not even a story you mook!" _again with that annoying word!

_"And I will ask you again, what the hell is Is a mook?" _the man shrugged

_"Beats me, I just figured it would be a fitting insult for you." _

_"Tch idiot so tomorrow we get to work and hopefully by dusk we will have a plan and the necessary equipment, although the escape plan is still not formed." _

_"Already got that covered, our flight leaves at exactly 7:30 am two days from now."_

_"To where?" _

_"You'll see _hey sir! Can we have the bill?" the waiter left and returned with the bill which we paid and left.

"Hey Uchiha lets walk back I mean the hotel is about a fifteen minute walk from here." I looked at him in question but nodded anyway. We walked in a comfortable silence, Uzumaki taking out a cigarette and lighting it. It stayed that way for a while, Uzumaki smoking the cancer stick while I just glanced at the surroundings when a scratchy voice emerged from an alleyway we were passing.

"Well hello there, would you care to empty your pockets and give me all your money?" I snorted while Uzumaki's eyes watered in amusement. Never in my life have I ever met such a polite mugger, it would have been a rather nice experience if I was not so exhausted, mentally of course but exhausted nonetheless.

"Look I will let you walk away scott free if you turn and leave my presence right now okay?" we both turned towards the now laughing group of muggers who looked no older than 26

"Well well did you hear guys? We should run before he hurts us, oooh i'm so scared!" the man said and they all laughed, I slowly backed further into the alleyway so that nobody could witness this. I turned to Uzumaki and he nodded. I then turned to the man and smirked at him

"Move or I will kill you right here right now." the man sneered before reaching for the knife that I could clearly see in his back pocket.

"Oh really now, let's just see you tr-" _Crack_ the man slumped down as I forcefully turned his head 180 degrees anti-clockwise. The rest of his gang reached for their knives and I grinned gleefully at the mere thought of what I could do to them with just a little bit of force and maybe a knife as well but we were both stopped by the click of a gun, I turned to see Uzumaki holding Rasengan in one hand while his other was stuck in his pocket, cocky moron.

"Okay guys now believe me when I say that I am doing this for your own safety, see that grin? That's the 'I'm going to carve out your innards and make you eat them' grin and if you don't believe me then go and research Uchiha Sasuke, however you could stay and die here but I really don't want to get blood on my new sneakers so shoo." he said with that ever so cheerful smile firmly placed on his face. The muggers looked like they wanted to attack but one look at both my grin and Rasengan had them doing otherwise.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Why on earth did you reveal my identity to those filthy creatures back there and then spoil my fun as well?" I calmly asked as we entered the hotel room and Uzumaki smirked before placing a quick kiss to my lips.

"And have you bitch about having parasite blood on your clothes for the whole of tomorrow? No thank you." I glared at the man before walking towards the shower but not before plucking the cigarette out of his mouth on my way there.

"No smoking in the hotel room" ah revenge was sweet.

[{END FLASHBACK}]

"Wait, how come there is no recorded poem about that alley guy?" Kiba asked as scribbled quickly on his notebook. Sasuke scoffed

"As if I would waste precious time and paper on a parasite." he said arrogantly and Kiba stared at the man across from him

"...um ok so tell me now exactly how did you manage to steal 4 million pounds with just the two of you anyway?" Sasuke sighed

"I can't say it was easy and we were so close to getting caught but-"

To be continued

**Z/N: hey guys! Sorry long time well I had final exams which will be ending next week and then its summer holidays meaning I can put more effort into updating this fic faster and more often.**

**I really had fun with this chapter and you won't believe how much i've learned about london this week! Anyway um yeah thanks for those who read, follow, favourite and review! **

_Disclaimer: I do not own naruto nor do I want to._

Oh and sorry if the italics thing is confusing. Um when they speak in japanese in public _it become in italics_ but when they are in private eg: in a hotel room then it will stay in regular text even though they are speaking japanese. **See ya next time. Bye!**

**1) Rasengan is the name of Naruto's gun**


	11. London part 3

_This time I really am guilty_

_Its a shame that the plans were faulty_

_By committing one simple robbery_

_We put eight families in complete misery_

"Hey Uzumaki, get up." I whispered to the man who was half on top of me. He stirred for a few seconds before laying his head back on my chest.

" 'uck no princess too early go 'ack to sleep you twit." he mumbled. I glared at him and was about to throw the fool off the bed but one glance towards the clock which read 08:12 had me sighing and sitting upright so that his head was now on my lap. I then reached for my cellphone and searched for a specific persons number. After dialling it rang three times before being picked up.

_"Hello who is this?"_

"Ah Miss Jenkins its Sasuke, from the plane."

_"Sasuke! Goodness I thought you had lost my number when you didn't call yesterday, so where are you staying?" _

"I apologise for that Miss Jenkins but-"

_"Please Sasuke dear, call me Annabel we are practically the same age!" _I smirked

"Very well Annabel, we are currently staying at The Lanesborough hotel."

_"The Lanesborough? What an exquisite choice! Say Sasuke I would simply love to talk some more, would you like to meet somewhere. I would really appreciate if both of you came. How is your friend doing by the way? I never really got his name"_

"That would be great thank you, i've been wanting to go to the Tate Modern so would you mind meeting there and he's doing well. His name is Uzumaki" I pointedly ignored the low growl coming from my lap.

_"Oh you're interested in art? Me too so what time should we meet?"_

"How does 9 o'clock sound?"

_"Very well I look forward to seeing the both of you again."_ I was about to drop the call when Uzumaki pinched me and started shaking his head while mouthing the word 'no' repeatedly. I gave him a look before remembering last night's conversation.

"Oh I am sorry but it seems Uzumaki will not be joining us today."

_"Really now, why not?" _

"He is meeting a friend of his who lives in London."

_"Then I guess its just the three of us since I will be coming with an acquaintance of mine, see you then. Bye." _and the phone was dropped.

"Hey princess."

"Hmm?"

"Why is it that so far every time you speak with that woman my head is on you lap?" I smirked

"Well pheasant when a man is attracted to a much more handsome and irresistible man he tends to-" I was silenced as Uzumaki 'accidentally' bit my finger which was innocently laying next to my lap.

"Ow! What is wrong with you, you cannibal." he grinned at me

"Well princess when a man is too full of himself then it is his partners responsibility to bring them down to earth."

"By biting me?"

"No, by using any means necessary." I scoffed

"I'm not as you state 'to full of myself' I just happen to know what I look like and I am drop dead gorgeous, ask any woman you see and they will agree with my point."

"Ah yes, drop dead gorgeous because when women come too close to you they just happen to drop dead right, like poor Karin." he smirked and I silently cursed. I walked right into that one but if there is anyone in this world who can turn any situation in his favour then his name starts with an Uchiha and ends with a Sasuke.

"Exactly, only those in the same league as me have a chance of survival, the rest will just perish. Sad but true ."

"Are you sure they don't plan their own deaths just to get away from you and your arrogance?" I shrugged

"I don't know, are you also planning your death?"

"Maybe."

"Hmm good, now get off I need to go shower." he groaned before rolling off me to the other side of the bed and picking up his own cell. I got up and walked towards the shower but before I closed the door I briefly heard the beginning of Uzumaki's conversation.

"Hey Shizune! Hows it going?"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As soon as I left the bathroom Uzumaki went inside and I walked over to the hotel's telephone to order breakfast. I then opened my bag and pulled out a black shirt with navy blue swirls, deep blue jeans and white sneakers. Just as I finished dressing up there was a knock on the door.

"Room service!" ah finally. I went to open the door as I heard the bathroom door open. The woman standing outside smiled before handing me the tray of food.

"Once you are finished just leave the cutlery outside the door and someone will collect it, have a good day." and just like that she turned and carried on down the hallway. I sighed and closed the door before placing the tray on the coffee table and as if on cue Uzumaki walked towards me, that stupid grin on his face again.

"I smell ramen, I see a bowl." he then stopped and stood right in front of the tray

"-that is filled with ramen! Aww princess how kind of you I haven't had ramen in ages!" I scowled before sitting down on one of the sofas and grabbing the plate which had tomato sandwiches with a tomato salad.

"You just ate that stuff two days ago moron." he said nothing and instead sat down at started eating. It stayed that way for about 20 minutes before we were both finished eating and got up to take our belongings. I dug into my bag, pulled out my gun and tossed it on the bed towards Uzumaki.

"Here hold this for me, I can't bring it to the museum. Bring yours along as well." Uzumaki stared at me for a moment but sighed and nodded. He pulled out his own gun and shoved both of them in his jacket. We then walked out the room and headed down the corridor towards the elevators.

"I'm going to Streatham to my friends house, she'll be picking us up in a few minutes." I raised my eyebrow at him and he sighed

"I asked her to drop you off at the museum and before you go all self centred on me the museum is on the way to her house and she wants to meet you." I smirked as we passed the reception area and walked through the entrance or exit doors.

"As a matter of fact I wasn't going to say anything although are you sure you want your friend to meet me, after we confirmed that women who are not worthy of my presence shall indeed drop dead?" Uzumaki chuckled lightly

"Don't worry, she's married." my smirk widened as a silver toyota yaris pulled up in front of us.

"Tch as if that matters." the door to the drivers seat opened and a middle aged woman with shoulder length black hair, dressed in a red sun dress and blue sandals stepped out. She smiled before hugging Uzumaki

"Naruto darling! I haven't seen you in ages!"

"You too Shizune! Hey you look really pretty today, what's the occasion" Uzumaki gave her a suspicious look and Shizune softly punched him on the chest before turning to me and smiling

"Well hello there!" before I had time to respond I was wrapped in a similar bone crushing hug that Uzumaki had been subjected to for a few seconds before letting go."

"Well aren't you a cute thing! Hi i'm Shizune, Naruto's godmothers apprentice." I nodded at the still smiling lady

"Nice to meet you Shizune my name is Sasuke." she laughed

"Wow such charming manners!" she then turned to Uzumaki

"Hey Naruto you should learn a thing or two from him." she said as she climbed back in the car and motioned for us to follow. We then drove off, Uzumaki in the passenger seat and I in the back seat.

"So why London?" she asked and Uzumaki shrugged

"Beats me, ask him". She snorted before adjusting her mirror so she could see me

"I should have known, so Sasuke dear out of all places to hide from the authority why London?" my eyes widened and she chuckled lightly

"My husband keeps up with what happens in Japan." I nodded in understanding

"Well I just figured it would be a good place to get some money before leaving the northern hemisphere."

"Ah, smart plan. Well i'll be sure to tell Naruto here all I know about the bank."

"...but-" she held up her hand before I could finish my sentence

"Oh its pretty obvious what you are here for, I used to work for the AMBU before I came to Europe." I nodded again before Uzumaki turned in his seat and whispered in my ear

"Told ya she wouldn't drop dead."

"I thought you hated the AMBU."

"I do, she left before I even joined."

"Hmm makes sense."

"We're here!" Shizune said as she stopped the car and Uzumaki retreated back to the front. I thanked her before opening the door and climbing out but before I could head into the museum Uzumaki had to open his big mouth.

"Hey princess." I turned to face the blonde and he grinned

"What, no goodbye kiss?" Shizune giggled and I smirked

"I'm afraid there aren't any today, could I offer you a goodbye kick to the face instead? I'm sure Shizune here wouldn't mind waiting a few more seconds." Uzumaki's jaw dropped and Shizune burst out laughing. With a grateful nod to Shizune and a wink to my now smiling lover I headed back towards the museum entrance. The sound of the car pulling out of the parking spot being the last I hear of them.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I had just stepped through the museum entrance when I saw Annabel and a tall brunette man walking towards me.

"Sasuke _darling_ how are you?" she said as she gave me a brief hug. I internally grimaced, are the words 'please hug me' tattooed on my forehead or something? Fist Shizune now her? Do they not understand the importance of personal space?

"Nice to see you too Annabel." she smiled before pulling the man towards her

"Sasuke this is my fiancée Jacob, Jacob this is my friend Sasuke. I have to make an important call so you should get to know each other a bit, i'll be right back" the man now known as Jacob nodded before extending his hand. I extended mine as well and we shook hands. Our faces portrayed a blooming friendship yet our eyes portrayed something entirely different

"Pleasure to meet you."_ I don't know what you're playing at pretty boy but stay away from my woman!_

"Likewise." _oh please don't flatter yourself we both know that if I wanted her we wouldn't be having this conversation._

_"_So you're from Japan?" _I mean it, stay Away dammit._

"Yes, yes I am." _keep glaring at me like that and I just might do the opposite_

"Ah I hear its a lovely country." _go ahead, I dare you._

" thank you but London is also quite a sight you know." _very well prepare to be left at the alter...bitch._

"That's good to know, have you seen the London's eye yet?" _If you take her away from me i'll kill you_

"Yes, I went there yesterday." _go ahead, we'll see who dies first. _Before he could answer Annabel came back to us while placing her phone back into her handbag.

"So what were you two discussing while I was gone?" he smiled fondly at her while I smirked

"Oh we were just discussing the London's eye." _...please don't take her away, she's all I have_

"Yes I was just telling him that I went there yesterday." _tch you're lucky i'm spoken for otherwise that diamond ring would have been back in your hand by the time we leave this museum._

"Oh really now? How was it?" Annabel asked

"It was very enjoyable." Jacob's eyes narrowed

"Well that is just great. I hope you learned a lot about our humble country." _enjoyable my ass, the only thing you could possibly enjoy is the misery of others!_

"Of course I did, our host spent the whole thirty minutes telling us about London and showing us all the main attractions." _true_

"Ah yes, good to know." _I bet you weren't even listening to the host, probably to busy ogling someone else's fiancée _

"Mmhm." _yes and no. As I said i'm spoken for and how dare you even think that I would even suggest being in the same compressed space with a bunch of random people I don't care about_

"So which capsule did you take?" _filthy rat, meet Mouse trap._

"Cupid's capsule." _mouse trap, meet Brick wall._ Annabel looked up from the ancient artefact to stare at me

"Cupids capsule? You mean you and Uzumaki are?" my eyes narrowed a bit. Now do I tell the truth or make up a lie? I really couldn't care less what people think of me I mean I am a murderer who is about to rob a bank. Although if I tell the truth then by tomorrow afternoon the whole of Europe and north Asia might know about us. After the robbery Annabel will definitely be questioned and she will tell them everything. Now if I tell her the truth then everyone will know that Uzumaki and I are in a relationship which frankly doesn't really matter but then some idiot journalist might start viewing this as some tragic love story. I can see it already 'blah blah forbidden love and all that crap, oh they could also add some angst like the fact that both our parents died at a young age and um an anti-hero which could be uh...the police, yes. Okay we have the two protagonists and an antagonist now we need uh the guy that has to die in the end oh and an extra like-

"Um Sasuke, helloo are you still there?" I woke from my musings to find Annabel staring at me worried while Jacob kept glaring at me. I smirked at him in return and he scoffed

"Oh sorry, I was just trying to remember where I put something yesterday and no, Uzumaki and I are not romantically involved in any way, I just do not like being in crowded places." she smiled sympathetically before returning to the artefact. After that I spent the rest of the day trying to get as much information about the bank as possible while pointedly ignoring Jacob's glares. It was about 13:00 when Uzumaki called me to say that he was nearly at the museum and I turned to Annabel.

"I'm afraid I must be going now, I need to meet Uzumaki in a few minutes so we can go see London bridge." she nodded in understanding before hugging me again but this time instead of grimacing I hugged her back and smirked at the now seething Jacob before bringing her hand to my lips and giving it a brief peck.

"I had a lovely time today Annabel, thank you." she smiled bashfully

"Oh you! It was a pleasure and I also enjoyed myself today." I turned to nod at Jacob and he reluctantly nodded back

"Have fun at the bridge." _I hope you jump off and drown!_

"Thank you, I will." _but then poor Annabel will be so distraught that she just might cancel or postpone the wedding to find my body and attempt to find my relatives which will take a very long time, believe me._

"Good bye, it was nice meeting you." _I hate you so much_

"Same here." _same here_

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Princess where are we going now?" Uzumaki asked as we got off the cab and walked down the street of a suburban neighbourhood. Both our guns now safely tucked under our shirts behind us.

"I know an insect that lives here, he will be providing us with the necessary equipment for tonight." I said as we stopped in front of a big black gate. The security guard sneeredat us

"Who are you and why are you here?" I sneered back at the guard

"Tell your boss that Sasuke is here to see him and if these gate doesn't open in the next 60 seconds then he will lose a security guard." the guard looked ready to argue but I started counting with my one hand while my other rested behind my back, right over my gun. He grunted before pulling out a communicator and pressing a single digit.

_"What now?" _

"Hey boss, some guy here is busy causing trouble for us and is demanding to be let in. He says his name's Sasuke or something like that."

_"Sasuke who?" _before the guard could ask me I snatched the communicator from his grasp

"Hey!"

"Dammit Kabuto make your stupid guard open the gate before I put a bullet in his head!" there was a sound of deep chuckling before Kabuto voice spoke up again

_"Very well, open the gate guard." _the guard snatched his communicator back and begrudgingly opened the gate for us to come in.

"So princess, who are we going to meet?" I sighed

"My mentors assistant."

"You call your mentors assistant an insect?"

"Yes, because that's what he is." Uzumaki shook his head slowly while chuckling soflty

"Whatever you say princess."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When I was a young boy I had a pet knife, it was a really nice knife. Very sharp and curvy plus it could cut through almost anything, I did everything with that knife, now that I think of it I loved that knife almost as much as I love myself. I used to wash it, polish it, sharpen it everyday. Whenever I had a nightmare I would go outside and start cutting everything I could get my hands on. It made me really happy but one day my pride and joy, the second love of my life was ruthlessly thrown in a river never to be seen again and it was all because of this thing in front of me. Said thing was sitting cross legged on a couch opposite where Uzumaki and I sat.

"Hello Sasuke...and company." I glared at the man while he only smiled in return.

"So who are you?" he asked as he shifted his stare towards Uzumaki

"Uzumaki Naruto." Uzumaki said and Kabutos eyes widened before narrowing

"Are you the younger brother of Uzumaki Kyuubi?" Uzumaki nodded and Kabuto smirked

"Well in that case, when you see him tell him he owes me 130000 yen which is about £700."

"What! Why?"

"Eight months ago your brother and I made a bet that one day you would be in my house at your own free will with Sasuke by your side, asking me for a favour." Uzumaki's eyes widened and I resisted the urge to snort at his facial expression

"Really? But then how did you know all that?"

"I met a fortune teller a few hours before I met him."

"Well I'll be sure to tell him then." I placed my tea on the coffee table before facing the insect known as Yakushi Kabuto

"So Kabuto what happened to the old guard?" Kabuto shrugged

"He quit last month."

"Oh, shame."

"Mmhm so Sasuke what brings you here?"

"I'm here to exert my revenge." Kabuto stared at me me before pinching the bridge of his nose

"Oh come on Sasuke, it was 14 years ago for Kami's sake and you were busy trying to stab everything within your grasp which included me. It was a move of self defence." I snorted

"You just admitted that you needed to defend yourself from an innocent 9 year old boy."

"9 year old boy I can understand but you my friend were far from innocent."

"I'm not your friend and wha-" just then Uzumaki's phone rang and he quickly got up and left the room to answer it.

"You know what never mind. I need your help." Kabuto raised an eyebrow and I took a sip of the tea in front of me.

"I am going to rob a bank along with Uzumaki over there. I need grappling hooks, a scrambler etc." Kabuto's eyebrow rose before he chuckled lowly and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"A bank, well that was unexpected. I wonder what Orochimaru would say if he were here."

"Probably something along the line of 'you have done well Sasuke boy, unlike my foolish assistant over here."

"Very funny."

"I know I should be a comedian. Speaking of Orochimaru..where is he?" Kabuto shrugged

"Somewhere in Egypt."

"Egypt?"

"He's convinced that the ancient tombs have the secret to immortality or something like that."

"Still?"

"Really now Sasuke, this is Orochimaru we're talking about." I sighed

"True, I just hope he is safe where he is."

"Who are you trying to fool Sasuke?" I chuckled, I had almost forgotten who I was talking to.

"Also true. So hows the business?"

"Pretty good actually we just got new recruits a week ago, another successful diamond heist and the Arc-Demons are no more."

"Good, how many, good and why?"

"About 12 of them, ages between 17 and 27. The Arch-Demons attempted to assassinate Orochimaru." I seethed and Kabuto growled lowly. No matter how much we both despised each other we had one thing in common and that was that _anyone _who decides to wrong our Mentor in any way will die in the most painful way possible.

"What happened?"

"A bunch of guys tried to shoot at him a few weeks back when he was departing for Egypt, of course he shot them down before they could even pull their triggers. They had the A/D tattoo on their ankles so we went to Scar's place and wiped out everyone there except Scar himself."

"What did you do to him?" Kabuto grinned

"Oh nothing much, we just put him in Manda's room. No harm done." and for the first time today I had a genuine smile on my face.

"Ah yes how is that monstrosity doing?" Manda was Orochimaru's pet python, last time I saw it, it was about 28 feet (8 meters) long and had a limb sticking out of its mouth. Its not a bad snake, pretty smart actually. in all my years living here it only tried to eat me once and never tried again, right after I slashed it across the face.

"Still growing, we had to move him into a larger room a while back." I nodded

"Ah." just then Uzumaki came back and sat down. I took another sip of my tea

"So I assume you already have the stuff?" Kabuto nodded as his cellphone light switched on. He looked at it before getting up.

"Well looks like I need to be somewhere now, Sasuke you know the house well enough. See you all in a few hours."

"Where are you going."

"To deal with a few snitches before they tell the police about our organisation, would you like to come with? Its been a while." I smirked gleefully but shook my head in response

"I still need to find a way to get into the bank plus I intend to spend some quality time with dear Manda." he chuckled before pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and leaving the room. I then turned to Uzumaki

"Come on pheasant, let me give you a tour of the place." Uzumaki smirked and nodded in agreement

"Lead the way princess."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Woah."

"I know, that over there is Manda, my Mentors pet python." I pointed through the glass window to the python that was lying peacefully on the rug.

"That is one huge snake, what on earth do you feed that thing!?" I shrugged

"Antelope, chicken, sheep, any medium sized animal and the occasional human." Uzumaki chuckled uneasily

"You're kidding about the human part right?"

"Look there." I pointed to the far right corner of the room where one could clearly see a bloodied hand sticking out under Manda's body.

"You feed people to that snake!"

"Not me, besides its only done about once every six months and I can assure you that everyone who has been eaten by Manda definitely deserved it ."

"You know, one day its going to break out of this room and its going to eat all of you."

"Well not all of us, He won't hurt Orochimaru, Kabuto an I, watch." I then proceeded to open the door and step into Manda's room and was immediately engulfed in the stench of metal and humid air. Manda opened his eyes to see who had entered before he slithered over to me and raised his head. I smiled before lifting my hand and running it over the cold scales on his head.

"Hello to you too Manda." I let my hand linger on the jagged scar on the top of his head before retracting my hand and watching him slither back towards his rug. I then turned back towards the door and re-locked it after stepping out.

"See, perfectly harmless." Uzumaki rolled his eyes.

"Come on, lets find a place that isn't full of surveillance cameras so I can show you the plan." I nodded and we walked down the corridor, up the stairs and into a big navy blue bedroom. With navy cover sheets, navy pillows, navy curtains and a navy carpet.

"This is my room and no you can not voice your thoughts on it understood? I've had this room since I was fifteen." Uzumaki stifled a snort before throwing himself on the bed. I scoffed and instead chose to sit on the couch next to the bed. Uzumaki sat up then he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and unfurled it to reveal what looked to be a blueprint.

"Shizune gave this to me, its a recent blueprint of the bank. The highlighted parts are the ones with security guards, the white spots are where the air vents have an opening and the bold marker circle is the vault." I nodded.

"So where is the surveillance room?"

"Shizune says if we travel via this air vent" he pointed to a white spot on the map. "Then we will be able to see the surveillance room as we pass." I scanned the print

"So if we use this passage then we can eliminate the guard at the surveillance room before proceeding towards the vault right?" Uzumaki nodded

"Correct and then after that we could throw the bags to-"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"So this is everything right?" Kabuto smiled and nodded as Uzumaki searched through the duffel bag. He then handed me a set of car keys.

"These are for the Lamborghini, I've already removed its nameplate. Good luck." I took the keys as Uzumaki zipped up the bag, we then nodded towards Kabuto before walking towards the door

"Oh and Sasuke." I turned to face Kabuto who was now sitting down. "One scratch on my baby and you die." I tsked in annoyance and flipped him off as we left the building and took the stairs to the underground garage.

"Hey princess, why on earth does your friend have so many cars?" Uzumaki asked as we reached the garage.

"The first three rows belong to my mentor, the fourth row belongs to the Insect upstairs and the last row is mine." Uzumaki nodded before his eyes widened and he looked accusingly at me

"Wait you had a car all along no scratch that, you had SEVERAL cars here and we still had to take a cab?" I sighed before walking towards the silver Lamborghini on the fourth row.

"And if you have your own cars why take Kabuto's?" I opened the doors and we both stepped in, Uzumaki on the passenger side and I on the drivers side.

"there is one answer for both your questions. because I felt like it." Uzumaki snorted as I pulled out of the driveway and towards the gate, making sure to sneer at the guard as I passed.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Okay so once that surveillance camera looks the other way we have sixty seconds to scale that wall and reach those air vents up there." Uzumaki whispered as we hid behind the trees which were near the bank. I nodded in agreement as the surveillance camera that was facing our direction turned the other way. As soon as it was fully facing away from us we ran towards the wall, threw up the grappling hooks and sprinted up the wall not even stopping for a second until we reached the vent. Uzumaki pulled a small screwdriver from his pocket and started unscrewing the vent grill. With a final click the bolt was undone and we crawled in. I then switched on the flashlight I had and we made our way quietly through the vents. First right then right again then straight then right now left and straight and aha! I switched off my flashlight as I found the grill where I peered down and saw a ginger haired male in a room full of computers. I motioned for the screwdriver and Uzumaki handed it to me. I began slowly unscrewing the grill, picked it before it could fall and gently laid it down on the other side of the vent. I then pulled out my gun, screwed on the silencer and jumped down through the opening. The man barely had time to blink before I placed a nice round hole in the back of his head. Uzumaki dropped down after me as the man slumped down on his chair. I then checked the place for any other cameras while Uzumaki began typing away on one of the computers.

"Hey princess, check." I turned to find Uzumaki zooming in on a particular room which I could see was littered with laser security. I sighed but began to study the movements of the lasers for about 10 minutes before Uzumaki whispered for me to come up already. I glared at the man but allowed him to pull me up and we carried on with our journey to the vault, this time with Uzumaki leading.

"So if we go down here there are about seven guards we will have to pass before finally reaching the vault room. We also one of their keys." he said as he finished unscrewing the final bolt and pulled up the grill in a similar fashion to mine. We both dropped down and pulled out our guns. As if we were in some movie we quietly trekked down the hall, shooting down a security guard or two in every corner. After shooting down the last one, a brunette female we used her card to gain entrance into the vault room which brought upon a new problem.

"Hey pheasant, how do we get these bags over there?" Uzumaki pondered for a moment before his eyes visibly brightened.

"I have a plan, you get through here with the empty bags and start loading em with cash. I will go back go the surveillance room to see if I can switch these things off."

"And if you cant?"

"These lasers are only meant to alert not injure so if I cant switch em off then we grab the money and run." I smirked and nodded

"Good plan." with that said Uzumaki ran back through the corridor and I took a deep breath before doing a hand stand and then landing backwards slowly as to allow one laser to pass through before my feet landed, I then pushed my hands off the ground as another laser was passing through. I then performed three simultaneous back flips and l landed on my hands again. I then performed I split mid-air to allow another laser to pass. After that I returned to my feet, ran five steps before diving between two lasers and landing on the other side. I pulled myself up from the floor, dusted my hands and clothes before pulling out four duffel bags. I pulled out a scrambler from my front pocket and placed it on the password door of the vault, waited for a few seconds before the door crackled and swung right open, nearly hitting my beautiful face. I turned to glare daggers at the offending object for a while before I was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

"Well if you're done having a glaring contest with a door may I suggest we go in the vault?" I turned to find a grinning blond and a room that was now clear of the red lasers. I shifted my glare to the blond before walking into the vault and pulling out two neatly folded duffel bags from my other front pocket and began stacking them with pounds.

"So how hard was it?" Uzumaki shrugged as he pulled out his own two duffel bags

"Pretty easy, all I had to do was press the 'disable laser security' button." my eyes narrowed

"Exactly how long did that take?"

"About two minutes."

"So would you mind telling me why I was dancing with lasers for five minutes?" Uzumaki zipped up the first bag and started filling up the second one.

"I really didn't want to disturb you since you were like in the zone." Uzumaki said nonchalantly. I Picked up a particularly heavy stack of cash and rammed it into the back of his skull, causing him to fall flat on his face.

"What the _hell_ Uchiha!" I smirked

"Just a reminder of what will happen if you ever do that again understood?" Uzumaki grumbled something before smiling sweetly at me

"Just like an angry housewife, very well _dear _I understand." I chose to ignore the moron in favour of stuffing more money into my second bag. After it seemed that there was no more space in my bag I zipped it up and turned to face Uzumaki.

"Done?" he nodded as he zipped up his second bag, picked them both up and headed out of the vault. I then took out a piece of paper and a pen. I sat down on the floor and began writing a note, I then placed the note in the middle of the now more than half empty vault, took my own two bags and followed my accomplice.

I panted slightly as we finally made our way back outside the bank, those bags were heavier than I thought and getting them up into the air vents was definitely not easy. Getting them out though was a different ordeal, all we had to do was to push them out of the vent, down the wall to the ground. Re fixing the grills also took a lot of time. Now as we were climbing down the wall using the same rope we used to climb up and the pulling the hook out of the roof I was able to finally realise that this robbery was in a way much easier than I thought it would be.

We then picked up the bags and leisurely walked past the surveillance camera, I being the amazing person I am decided to drop my bags, look straight at the camera and give it a two finger salute before Uzumaki came and dragged me and the two bags away from the camera.

"What's up with you?" Uzumaki shrugged as we got into the Lamborghini after loading the money in the trunk.

"Why do you get all the fun?" I snorted but began to drive away from the bank, alarms bells and sirens blaring from the hotel. Ah seems they finally found the bodies.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We dropped the money and the car off at Orochimaru's place, changed our clothes and took a cab back to the hotel.

"Well that was fun." I nodded in agreement before glancing at the clock which read 23:31. I sighed

"You said the flight leaves at 7:30 am right?"

"Yeah."

"So we check out at 6." Uzumaki nodded as he pulled his gun from his pocket and laid it on the bedside table.

"Cool." I sighed as I pulled my own gun from my pocket and laid it on the bed.

"I need a shower, I can already feel the air-vent germs multiplying." I took off my shoes and headed towards the bathroom.

"Can I come with." I turned to see a grinning Uzumaki and scoffed

"Sure, why not."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

_"Breaking news! It appears that last night the Standard Chartered bank was robbed by two unknown persons. Eight security guards who were on guard closest to the vault were all shot down despite all of them being armed. The manager Mr. T Jenkins is currently not available to disclose exactly how much has been stolen and how the two thieves got- oh there he is. Mr Jenkins oh Mr Jenkins, over here!" _

The chief officer of the London police department walked into the vault room, ignoring the buzz of detectives and officers in the room. He stopped behind a group of forensic analysts who were busy mulling over a piece of paper.

"Steven! What is going on here?" the forensic analyst going by the name of Steven turned to look at the Chief

"Well sir it seems that the thieves left a note."

"What does it say?"

"It says 'give this to Asuma Sarutobi' and the rest of the letter is written in what appears to be Japanese characters." the chief scowled before turning towards one of the IT guys.

"Hey you! connect that screen over there and contact the chief of the Japanese police force now!" the guy nodded before doing as he was told and within three minutes the face of Chief Sarutobi Asuma was clearly visible on the giant screen which was previously being used to view the surveillance tapes.

"Mr Morris there seems to be a problem?" The London Chief officer who will now be known as Mr Morris nodded at Asuma in greeting.

"Mr Sarutobi, last night this bank was robbed by two individuals. We estimate that they took about £45 000 000 000 and they killed eight of our guards."

"That is very unfortunate, I am sorry to hear this but what does it have to do with me?" Mr Morris scowled before showing the piece of paper to the screen.

"This was left behind for you, would you mind reading this for us?" Asuma nodded

"Of course it says '_Chotto Asuma wa, subete no ato, watashi wa anata ga mada hi nēsho n Taimuzu kara no gazō no mezawari o sakujo suru koto o kyohi shi, sono kuni ni itte imasu ka? Soshite, watashi wa anata kara totta subete no okane o hensai suru tsumoridatta to omoimasu_." Mr Norris gaped before regaining his senses

"Oh I apologise, I meant could you translate this?"

"Well then why didn't you say so in the first place, anyway it says 'hey Asuma after all I have done to that country you still refuse to remove that eyesore of a picture from Fire Nation Times? and to think I was going to pay back all the money I took from you'...Dammit Uchiha! What is _wrong_ with you? Mr Morris I know exactly who stole your money."

"Who?"

"You see a while ago a famous poet going by the name Uchiha Sasuke murdered his girlfriend but we weren't able to arrest him because there simply was no evidence pinning him to her murder. Then later he murdered his housemaid and then called the police, he was brought in and interrogated by a fellow high commanding officer named Uzumaki Naruto, although both didn't know it I had installed a voice bug under the interrogation table, hence I found out that he was only acting in self defence."

"Mr Sarutobi I don't see how this is relevant to-"

"Shush i'm speaking. As I was saying he only acted in self defence but since he refused to repeat the confession on tape we were forced to let him go and people started spreading rumours. After that both Uzumaki and Uchiha met in a bar and got into trouble with a local biker gang and then shot down all the members of the gang even though they could have just fled and ignored them. Then then left town and went to another town where they killed a gang of twenty something members and attempted to blow us up. Their latest murder was the murder of a town mayor Shinji Sheen in his own club. Forget about finding them if you have found the letter then it means that they are long gone" Mr Morris nodded solemnly

"I understand, although I do not have any hard evidence against them yet, I am sure their faces on the surveillance cameras, this letter and your word will be more than enough to put them on the Britain's most wanted list."

"I have no objection to that, they are already two of Japan's most wanted criminals."

"Thank you for your help Mr Sarutobi, good day." Sarutobi nodded

"Peace." and the screen was back to showing a pale black haired man outside the bank giving the camera a two fingered salute before being dragged away by a tanned yellow haired male. He sighed before straightening his face

"Fisher! Get me pictures of one Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, they should be on the Japan's most wanted list, make it snappy!"

"Yes sir!."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"_**Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 4B7 with service from London to South Africa. We are currently second in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately four minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Smoking is prohibited for the duration of the flight. Thank you for choosing British Airways. Enjoy your flight." **_the flight attendant announced.

"Pheasant."

"Hmm?"

"Why South Africa?" Uzumaki sighed

"We need to lay low and I've already been to Australia and Brazil, besides I've always wanted to see what its like there since my godmother would always tell about how it was when she visited." I shrugged and pulled out a book I took from Kabuto's library as the plane finally took flight.

[{END FLASHBACK}]

Kiba finished scribbling on his notepad.

"I still can't believe you robbed a bank" Sasuke smirked

"I've done many things that are unbelievable."

"And I'm guessing i'm about to find out some other unbelievable things?"

"Clever boy."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: Well obviously Mr Jenkins is not the manager of standard chartered bank and Mr Morris is not the chief of London police. The flight announcement also does not belong to me, its actually a genuine flight. **

**Well that marks the end of the London saga and the beginning of the South Africa saga, can't wait to get started on that. IMAGINE ALL THE RESEARCH I'LL BE DOING!? Yay for me!**

**I do not own Naruto or any of the places mentioned in this chapter and the next three.**


	12. South Africa Part 1

_South Africa part 1_

I sighed deeply as I stepped out of the bathroom clad in only a towel, the wonders of a refreshing shower. I then walked towards the bed and put on a blue turtleneck t-shirt with faded denim jeans.

"Hey pheasant is it done yet?" I asked Uzumaki who was perched on the bed with a laptop on top of him. The blond in question simply nodded before turning the laptop towards me. I quickly typed in Kabuto's Skype username and waited for a few seconds before the screen changed to show my most hated insect…and a man tied up and bleeding in the background. The insect called Kabuto smiled at us as he placed what looked to be a giant scalpel down on the floor. Uzumaki's eyes widened to a point where I'm sure they threatened to fall out of their sockets.

"Naruto, Sasuke I've been waiting for your call. How are you doing?" I was about to respond with the customary 'go to hell' when something behind Kabuto caught my eye.

"Kabuto…." That arrogant insect had the gall to smile sweetly at me.

"Yes Sasuke?"

"..what are you doing in my room?" Kabuto simply smirked before sitting down on MY bed.

"Well you see I specifically told you not to scratch my car and you went and ran it through a fence so I decided that spilling a bit of blood and human tissue in your beloved room should be enough compensation since you absolutely abhor blood stains in your room, don't you agree Naruto?" the man in question simply blinked dumbly while the man who was tied up in my room renewed his struggling tenfold.

"You will regret this for as long as you live." I seethed and Kabuto chuckled. Uzumaki coughed loudly and we both turned to face him.

"Um sorry to interrupt but Kabuto we need you to transfer some money to my account here in South Africa" Kabuto nodded briefly before pulling out his cellphone.

"How much?"

"About 1 800 000"

"Account number?"

"556 124 8631, under N. Uzumaki ABSA bank." Kabuto typed what I assume was the correct information before placing his phone back in his pocket, Uzumaki's phone ringing only a few seconds later. Uzumaki nodded gratefully and Kabuto smiled…or whatever you call that expression on his face. The man behind Kabuto started screaming through the gag and my mouth curled in disgust.

"Kabuto your friend is drooling back there, do something about it." Kabuto cast the wide eyed man a brief glance before turning back to the screen.

"First of all he is not my friend, I barely even know the man."

"Then why are you killing him?" he simply smirked as he picked up a surgical knife and examined it

"This rude man ran into me during my morning run and didn't even bother to apologize, can you believe it?" Uzumaki choked and I chuckled softly, and here I was thinking that the insect had finally changed for the better.

"Well have fun."

"Oh I will. Nice talking to you Sasuke, you too Naruto." I nodded goodbye while Uzumaki waved weakly and with a parting wave of his own the screen turned black.

"..Hey princess."

"Hmm?"

"Where did Kabuto get surgical tools?"

"In a hospital dear." I answered mockingly and he scowled

"Well love, did he rob a hospital or did he kill a surgeon?"

"No you idiot he _is_ a surgeon."

"WHAT?!"

"mmhm, has a PhD and everything."

"Wow, just wow." I shook my head at the blonde's antics as I set an alarm clock for 6am and climbed into bed. Today was such a long day, first I had to convert the money I physically had with me into South African rands. Next I had to get a new router for my laptop while Uzumaki went and created a bank account in which he deposited some of the money he had so we could book a hotel. Then we rented an Audi A3 and booked a room at the Southern Sun Elangeni hotel, pricey but not expensive enough to be noticed. Finally we got some food before driving to this hotel so yes, I was very tired.

"Hey pheasant."

'Mm?"

"Go shower, you smell."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I woke up to the sound of frantic typing and as I looked up and found Uzumaki sitting cross legged on the bed with a laptop perched on the space between his legs. I blinked quickly to get my eyes working again before glancing at the bedside table the see the clock…which read 09:07, what the hell? I am certain that I set my alarm for-

"Stop worrying princess your stupid alarm did go off but you were sleeping so peacefully and Ow! What the hell Uchiha?" Uzumaki yelled as I punched him in the jaw. That should teach him not to mess with my alarm clock.

Since I was already up I decided to look at exactly what Uzumaki was doing and I would be a liar if I said that what I saw did not surprise me.

"Uzumaki is that-?"

"Yep, I present to you the international criminal bingo book!" Ah yes the bingo book or as some others call it, the billboard. It was a list which consisted of every well-known criminal all over the world who were listed from most dangerous to least dangerous.

"Guess where we are now?"

"53?" Uzumaki gave me that idiot grin of his as he shook his head

"Twenty five!" he yelled and I almost choked on my own spit "Looks like that robbery really bumped us up a notch."

"But we don't even have a-" Oh right, the bingo book rates criminals on their individual strength instead of how many people are working under them and since we had singlehandedly robbed one of the most prestigious banks in Britain _without_ hiding our faces…damn it.

"Do you know what this means pheasant?"

"More people are coming after us."

"So now we have no choice-"

"But to climb higher within the criminal ranks-"

"And hopefully we can get high enough-"

"To scare off most of the would-be assassins coming our way-"

"The first order of business is to find the top dog here in South Africa-"

"And get rid of him or her-"

"Along with their entire gang-"

"Even if they are scattered all over the country and we will be starting-"

"Tomorrow at earliest." Hey even I need some time to clear my head before I start with my newest poem inspiration. Uzumaki's grin widened.

"Knew you'd eventually see things my way now let's get going, there are so many things to do here in Durban before we start with the bingo stuff!" I guess the saying is true, some of the strongest individuals alive have five too many screws loose in their heads.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Hey let's go surfing."

"No."

"Fine, how about shark-cage diving?"

"No."

"Aquarium?"

"No"

"Shopping?"

"No"

"Game drive?"

"No."

"Sightseeing?"

"No."

"Bungee jumping?"

"…sure."

"Really!?"

"No." Uzumaki scowled at me as I fought to keep a straight face, I know I shouldn't be messing with people so early in the morning but Uzumaki just makes it so _easy_. Eventually he caught on to what I was doing and his scowl deepened.

"Ha bloody ha ha Uchiha and for that we are going shopping." I internally scoffed at the man as he pulled out of the hotel parking lot, besides I need a change of clothing anyway.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We arrived at the Gateway Theater of shopping and parked the car near the elevators leading towards the mall from the underground parking lot. Uzumaki pulled the keys out of the ignition, pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and carefully lit it, I sighed as I placed my gun under the car seat. "And here I thought you had finally quit that filthy habit of yours." He chuckled as he took a long drag of the cigarette and let it out in a big puff of smoke. "Not happening anytime soon princess." I scoffed at the man as I climbed out of the car and made my way towards the stairs leading up.

"You do realize that there is an empty elevator right next to you right?" Uzumaki asked and I glared at him.

"Laziness doesn't suit you Uzumaki." He grinned at me as he climbed up the stairs as well.

"Oh no, I was just stating a fact Uchiha." I snorted as I swiftly plucked the half burnt cigarette out of his mouth and threw it into the ashtray on the wall despite his protests.

"This is a non-smoking zone." I said as pointed at the very visible sign next to the ash-tray and he grumbled softly.

As we walked past the many shops Uzumaki stopped dead in his track and his lips twitched up in an unbelieving smile. I gave him a confused frown and he lifted a finger and pointed in a western direction which after I followed, pointed to a ramen shop. I scoffed and held my hand out expectantly. Uzumaki blinked

"What?"

"Credit card." He grinned as he pulled the card out of his pocket and placed it soundly on my hand.

"Just like a trophy wife." No force in the universe could have been able to stop me from punching the moron right there, luckily for him we were in public so the most I could do without causing a scene was to elbow him in the gut as softly as I could but judging by the loud wince coming from the blond I still need to refine my understanding of the word 'softly', oh well too bad.

With a sickly sweet smile and a small wave to my glaring partner I made my way towards the clothing shops.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Where is the damn idiot now?" I muttered to myself as I walked past the ramen shop for the second time with a Truworths-Man bag slung casually over my shoulder. So far I have looked through the ramen shop and the buffet but to no avail. Now where else could the moron be? Think Sasuke think, what does Uzumaki love more than food…dammit! How could I forget? Now which way is the tobacco store again, I think back near Steers or was it Spur?

"Hey you young man with the Truworths bag! Would you like to try your hand against the unbeatable swordmaster?" I turned to glare at the smiling man who was pointing at a very smug looking…thing which was holding a sword while sneering at the assembled crowd.

"No."

"Aw come on, you look like a guy who likes a good challenge besides I promise he won't hurt you much!" What did he just say?

"No you don't understand, I just happen to be a professional weapons master and this little duel you want me to partake in will be a waste of both my skill and time." There were collective gasps and a few oooooohs from the crowd as both the announcer and the thing scowled at me.

"Well why don't you come up here and show us that 'skill' of yours sir, I promise it won't be a waste of time." The announcer said and I scoffed before making my way to the stage, hopefully I might be able to spot Uzumaki from up there.

I placed my bag on the floor next to the assortment of what I now realize were actually real swords as I picked up the nearest one which was quite sturdy though nowhere near as sharp as mine but looking at how the thing was handling his sword, I believe my chances are fairly good.

I stood perfectly across the thing as I carelessly twirled the sword I had in my fingers, now where is the moron?

"Hey eyes over here boy."

"I will look at you when you eventually do something, now shut up I'm trying to find someone here." I said as my eyes scanned the crowd to look for the oh so familiar spiky mop of blond hair…which was situated right in the front row. I distinctively heard the thing growl but paid no heed to it until I noticed the thing charging forward from the corner of my eye.

I easily sidestepped his attack and hit the handle of the sword right on his back which caused him to stumble but before he could get his footing right again I quickly bent down and swiped my leg right past his feet which effectively managed to tip him over and as a finishing move I got back up, raised the sword I was holding and used it to slice through his shirt before placing the tip right on top of his Adams apple. The things eyes widened quite greatly and I smirked in barely concealed glee.

"My my, all that talk and you didn't even land a single hit on me. Just as I said, a waste of my skill and time" And with that said I dropped the sword, picked up my bag and walked off the stage while making sure to drag the still grinning Uzumaki away from the cheering crowd and stunned announcer.

"Pheasant, you're done here right?" I said as we made our way to the parking lot.

"Yep, now to some bungee jumping!"

"Still no." Uzumaki groaned loudly as he unlocked the car and we both climbed in.

"What about the beach?" he asked and I looked at the time which read 12:38 and shrugged

"Sure, why not." I said as I opened the car door and stepped out of the car.

"Hey, where are you going now?"

"Sunscreen, chair, towel." Uzumaki made a noise of understanding as he also stepped out of the car and locked it"

"Might as well come with you."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

North beach is a very empty place I have observed since besides me and Uzumaki there were about fifteen other people here which was very fine by me, the less the better. As I turned the page of a book I took from Kabuto's library I paused to observe Uzumaki who was surfing with five other people and slowly shook my head. Why anyone would willingly stand on an unstable board in the middle of the ocean was beyond my understanding. I was about to get started on chapter five of _Along Came A Spider_ when I was disturbed by a soft cough coming from in front of me. Sighing in irritation I pulled my book down to come face to face with a woman looking to be in her early 20's. She smiled at me as she pointed at my book. "That is a really good book you've got there" I nodded to her and made a sound of agreement and was about to return to my reading when she coughed again.

"So aren't you going to swim?" I looked down at my jean and sneaker clad lower limbs and my long sleeved t-shirt before giving her a look that I specially reserve for all of my brothers friends, the 'are you mental?' look and she smiled bashfully.

"Sorry, it's just very unusual to see someone come all the way to the beach while wearing normal clothing." I blinked at her, hoping my silence might somehow creep her out but she only gave me a confused glance before her eyes widened.

"Wait, can you understand me?" Oh Buddha was this ever going to end?

"Yes I can understand you, I just don't feel like talking right now Miss." I said as I flashed her what Uzumaki has dubbed the 'come hither' smirk and she turned and interesting shade of red.

"Oh well um, uh sorry for disturbing you then. Uh please carry on with your reading." She said as she dashed off towards the ocean. I sighed in relief and went back to my book. Sometimes I think my true destiny is to simply be gorgeous.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Okay so far what we've got is that the top dog here is a man named Aubrey Malinga age 48, let's see uhm he has a total of 370 subordinates located in all eight capital cities of their respective provinces. He has made quite a name for himself it seems." Uzumaki said as I climbed under the covers already half asleep.

"Hmm, what does he deal in?" I asked and Uzumaki typed some more before his face brightened

"Aha here it is! Drugs, weaponry, trafficking, y'know the usual."

"Sounds doable, ranking?"

"Check this, number 8." I smiled.

"Jackpot." Uzumaki smiled back as he shut down his laptop and went to turn off the main lights.

"So how long do you think this will take?" he asked as got under the covers and placed his head on my shoulder.

"Judging from their ranking in the bingo book and the number of people to go through, I say about a week at most." I said as I moved my hand to switch off the lamp beside me and then turned in a way that both Uzumaki and I were facing each other.

"Great, we just need to stock up on some bullets and we're good to go." I made a noise of agreement as I cupped his face and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Even in the dark I could still see his smile widen significantly.

"Goodnight Sasuke."

"Goodnight Naruto." Tch, figures that the only time we ever call each other by our first names has to be right before going to sleep, how terribly cliché of us.

"Oh and Uzumaki."

"Yes?"

"Switch off my alarm again and I will kill you."

"Love you too princess."

"…I'm serious."

"Well too bad."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**{[End Flashback]}**

Kiba stifled a yawn as he wrote down a few notes on his notepad while Sasuke waited patiently for him.

"Well that was a rather boing story." Sasuke chuckled deeply at the boys tone and scoffed softly afterwards.

"Child this part of the story was simply told to introduce you to one woman and one woman only." Kiba's eyes narrowed slightly before the widened again.

"Oh now I remember! So that was the lady who-"

"Yes."

"And also with the-"

"Yes, that too."

"No way but I thought she was a-"

"It's called acting child."

"..oh." Sasuke snorted at Kiba's antics

"Exactly, now is when the story really gets interesting."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Z/N: Woah, it's been like five moths! I had a major writers block then but now I'm back with more energy than last time yeah! This chapter is a bit short but that's all I could type without revealing anything about the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, That's it.**


End file.
